Don’t worry when I yell at you or when I blame you. Don’t worry when I throw tantrums and send you long essays explaining why I’m mad. Don’t worry when I knock on your door in the middle of the night because I’m hurt. Don’t worry when I cry at night because of something you said.
They’re all displays of love, they’re all cries for your attention and they’re all exhibits of how much I love you.
But worry when my messages become one word answers, worry when I no longer fight with you about what you say, worry when I stop knocking on your door and worry when I stop crying, when I stop talking and when I stop reacting.
Because this means you’re no longer worth the fight, you’re no longer worth the anger and your flames that used to burn my passion have now turned cold.
Because my silence is more dangerous than my words, my silence can destroymuch more than my words ever will.
My silence means you’re no longer the one who’s occupying my thoughts and you’re no longer worth the noise.
You see, I love words, I live for words, I can keep writing words forever because I can feel them, because they come from my heart, because they represent my depth and because they’re honest.
But I hate silence. I’m not comfortable with the words left unsaid, with feelings left unattended and hearts being neglected.
My words are my love, my silence is my departure, it’s the beginning of the end.
My silence means I don’t care, my silence means you don’t deserve my words and my silence means I’m giving up on you.
My silence is a response to your silence. It’s how I get even with you.
So don’t fear my heated arguments, the ways I try to show you who I am, the tears I can’t hold back because you mean the world to me. Don’t fear them, appreciate them, they’re all the ways I want to stay, they’re all the ways I try to fight with you because I want to fight for you.
But fear the day it all stops, fear the day when everything goes quiet, fear the night you hurt me and I smile, fear the night you annoy me and I don’t respond. Because it means I’m ready to go, it means I’m ready to leave and it means I’m ready to disappear.
By Rania Naim for ThoughtCatalog