1. LIBRA
If Libra girls have a problem, it’s that they aren’t nearly bitchy enough. These sweet little peaceful angels are peacemakers and would rather be unhappy than see anyone around them unhappy. They believe in justice, equality, and harmony, even if it comes at their own expense. They seek to settle disputes rather than start them. If you ever have any problems with a Libra, it’s clear that you’re the bitch.
2. PISCES
Soft and helpful and non-combative, everything is “nicey-Picey” with them! They hate fighting and conflict and meanness and gossip—basically, they hate everything that girls tend to do to one another when in large groups. If you try to start a fight with a Pisces, this sweet little fish will just turn and swim away.
3. TAURUS
Unlike her namesake the Bull—which charges into danger and stampedes over everything in its path—a Taurus woman is patient and longsuffering. Sensitive to criticism herself, she makes it a point not to criticize others. She is warmhearted and generous and has no qualms sharing half of her pesto panini with you if you’re hungry. If you cross her enough, though, her Inner Bitch will eventually emerge, however reluctantly. This is why you should never cross nice people.
4. AQUARIUS
Famous for being friendly and kind, Aquarians have no time for bitchiness or backstabbing. They also have no time for people who are mean and cruel. But this doesn’t mean they are doormats—they also are born rebels and will not tolerate being mistreated. If you try being mean to an Aquarius, you just might not get a Christmas card from them—at least this year, you won’t.
5. SAGITTARIUS
Although they have a tendency to be restless and impatient, Sags rarely let this turn into hostility or aggression—they have their eyes on the prize, and it frustrates them to live in a world that’s often cruel and unjust. If you act bitchy toward her, she won’t grab your hair and start clawing out your eyes—she’ll merely disengage, shake her head, and walk away while muttering, “Well, that was uncalled for.”
6. GEMINI
Geminis tend to be nice and outgoing—usually. They also tend to gossip a lot, which, if you ask me, is a bit of a bitch move. The tendency to spread rumors about others, whether true or false, is the very essence of bitchinessIf you really want to see her bitch side—and why would you want to do that?—confront her about all the false rumors she’s been spreading. She will start bitching so loudly, everyone at the restaurant will drop their forks and stare in amazement, jaws hanging open.
7. CANCER
Cancer girls can be nice or bitchy depending on their mood—and as we all know far too well, Crab Ladies are some of the moodiest crustaceans in the zodiac. If you catch her in a good mood, she’ll hug and squeeze and kiss you and compliment you on your hair and say she’s jealous of how pretty you are. But if you catch her on a day when dark clouds are hovering over her head, you should duck for cover. When the chips are down, she is one touchy bitch!
8. LEO
Your average Leo girl is warm, friendly, forgiving, and even willing to smile while listening to you bitch all the livelong day. But don’t let that make you think she’s just a little harmless purring kitten—inside that kitten is the heart of a lioness. Her biggest flaw is that, once angered, she will say something so harsh and unfeeling, it will reduce you to tears and have you curling up in a ball in the corner. That’s why it’s best to be nice and pet the kitten—otherwise, you’re sticking your head in the mouth of a lioness.
9. VIRGO
This is a star sign that may be incorrectly named, because real virgins are innocent and hardly ever this bitchy. Then again, maybe they’re bitchy because they’ve never had raw, exhilarating sex. When a Virgo gets bitchy, it’s hardly ever physical or straight-out verbal abuse. No, she practices a far more nitpicky and passive-aggressive form of critical bitchiness. She’ll wrap a couple compliments inside an insult like one wraps rice and beans inside a tortilla—“That’s a beautiful dress, and your hair looks fabulous today—it’s about time!”
10. ARIES
Ask an Aries, and she will tell you that she’s courageous, assertive, passionate, energetic, and even a little fiery. This is a very nice way of saying impatient, hyperactive, aggressive, headstrong, arrogant, and, yes, bitchy bitchy bitchy. Aries women aren’t the bitchiest, but it’s not for a lack of trying. She needs to tone it down by stirring a teaspoon of humility into her morning tea. She also needs to learn the difference between “childlike” and “childish.”
11. CAPRICORN
Bitchiness can be either hot or cold—either raging or aloof—and Capricorn women are ice queens once they decide to take the exit toward Bitchtown, USA. Although they are patient, once you’ve angered or hurt them you’ll feel a cold mist descending upon the room. They won’t smack you in the face or scream at you—but they just might gossip and undermine you and tell the Human Resources manager about all the unsavory things you’ve said about the company.
12. SCORPIO
Poisonously bitchy, this is the one sign you don’t want to make angry, because they will plot revenge with the methodical coldness of a serial killer. It’s like they were born with PMS! They are combative, distrustful, malicious, and vengeful. Oh, sure, they can be nice if you don’t upset them. But if you ever make that mistake, don’t ever turn your back on them—if you do, their giant scorpion tail will be raised and poised to sting.
By Alana Capri for ThoughtCatalog