The guy you date will tell you he’s not the commitment type.
It’s easier to say, “I’m not the commitment type” than admit “I don’t want to commit to you.”
The guy you marry will suddenly become that after meeting you.
When you meet the right person, that’s when you change. That’s when everything in your life changes because meeting this person makes you realize you don’t want to live without them or let them get away.
The guy you date doesn’t talk about a future.
Everything about you guys is ambigious. You take things as they are in the moment. You might even be wary of asking them to things too far in the future out of fear they’ll say no.
The guy you marry wants you a part of his.
It isn’t even a question of if he’ll come to something with you, he’ll be there. You guys plan things so far ahead, whether it’s trips or shows or weddings there is this certainty about him that he’s it.
The guy you date will see how much he can get away with.
He’ll test you and see what buttons he can push. He wants to see how much you’re willing to give even when he doesn’t reciprocate things.
The guy you marry will meet you halfway.
Everything you give you get back and for the first time it doesn’t feel like you’re trying too hard too hard to make a relationship work.
The guy you date doesn’t bother hearing about your goals and dreams.
While everything you might want to do and say seems interested, he doesn’t care to be a part of it or help you get there. He might be dating you but he doesn’t want to do more than he has to.
The guy you marry will encourage and support you.
The guy you marry will indulge himself in everything you’re involved in. He loves you and part of that is loving the things you do and helping you to achieve the goals you want to in life. And if there’s any way he get you there he will. It is through his love and support you become twice the person you already are.
The guy you date is confident in himself.
He’s the guy you have to question, maybe there are girls blowing up his phone and flirting and he allows it. He’s the one sometimes you like having on your side when you walk into a place. But if someone were to ask you, if it’s serious you’d say no.
The guy you marry wants to prove you can be confident in him.
The guy you end up marrying wants to show you off to everyone. You don’t question his loyalty or commitment, he makes you feel safe and secure in ways no one else has before.
The guy you date meets you at a place of common of drinking, partying and sleeping together.
While it’s fun having someone to go out with sometimes you realize that’s all it is and it grows old after a while.
The guy you marry will have common interests that reflects who you are as a person.
The guy you marry you don’t meet at a bar or really drunk and he’s not some one night stand, you meet him doing something that interests both of you. Something that connects you both. From there you build the future of your relationship based on that.
The guy you date can’t hold a conversation.
It’s the casual conversations or meeting up or making plans. But there isn’t substance to your relationship. There isn’t this emotional and mental connection. It’s nice having someone there and having someone to do all these things with but that’s kind of all it is.
The guy you marry wants to know everything about you.
The guy you end up marrying wants to know you better than he knows anyone in his life. He makes an effort to care about who you are and why. Even the hard things about your past, he works to build your trust that you can tell him those things.
The guy you date will use fights as an excuse to leave.
The first fight he’s out.
The guy you marry will work through the issue until it isn’t one anymore.
The guy you end up marrying might get angry at you, he might say things he regrets but he stays. He wants to work through this thing and figure out how to make it work. He teaches you fighting doesn’t always mean something is going to end.
The guy you date cares more about what you look like.
While attraction is important and what makes anyone go for someone, sometimes all it’s about is how someone looks. And as shallow as it might be the root of the relationship is that physical attraction.
The guy you marry cares more about who you are as a person.
There has to be physical attraction present but more than that there has to be an emotional connection. When you meet the right person, you suddenly look at them like God put them on this earth to be with you and there isn’t anyone better for you.
The guy you date doesn’t want to meet your family.
Not only does he not want to meet your family, you don’t want to bring him around. Sometimes the guys we date are simply that and we know it’ll never be anything more.
The guy you marry wants to know everyone’s names before he meets them.
The guy you end up marrying you introduce to your family with a lot of pride. Not only does this person make you so much happier but everyone sees a change in your because of him. While meeting the family seems like a big step, he’s the one who wants to take it.
The guy you date is always that what if in your mind.
The guy you date leaves lingering questions of what are you and what can you be. Sometimes you each play with this idea of what it could be if things were different. But they aren’t. This guy is just kind of there until you meet the right one and you stop giving him any of your time and attention.
The guy you marry never makes you question how he feels or if he wants a future with you.
The guy you marry actually says the word marriage. And it doesn’t scare you.
The guy you date doesn’t listen.
The guy you date hears what he wants to hear but often forgets the things you say.
The guy you marry remembers even the smallest details about you.
The guy you end up marrying remembers everything. From how you like your coffee to your little habits you might not even notice. And he loves all of it.
The guy you date will say you’re clingy if you rely on him too much.
A lot of guys fear getting that close to someone. They pull away when things get hard. They duck out when something bad happens in your life. They don’t want to be that person for you.
The guy you marry will stand tall and be what you need during tough times.
The guy you marry is that strength when you’re weak. He holds you up when you can’t seem to yourself. And he doesn’t look down on you if ever you fall apart. He knows at any moment that could be him and he likes knowing he has you if ever that day comes.
The guy you date let’s you pay.
Splitting things seems fair but what he’s really saying is, he doesn’t care enough to ever fully commit to you.
The guy you marry would never let you do such a thing.
He realizes what’s his will eventually be yours when you build a life together. He also respects you enough to never want to make you pay for anything. He takes a lot of pride in spoiling you.
The guy you date won’t talk about feelings.
You talk about sports and where you are going out. But he doesn’t talk about how he feels about you. He might like you. He might like being with you sometimes. But he doesn’t like you enough to make you feel secure with how he feels. Because the truth is you can’t fake finding that IT in someone.
The guy you marry isn’t afraid to say I love you first.
The guy you marry wants you to know he’s completely in love with you. He’ll say it without even thinking twice about it because he feels lucky to even have you. You look him in the eyes and you see the next fifty years in front of you.
By Kirsten Corley for ThoughtCatalog