I was crushed when my relationship shattered into a million pieces. One day, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, and the next day we were saying our goodbyes. The pain that accompanied our breakup was so intense, I thought I would never feel whole again. But over time, I found the strength to move on. This is how I finally got over him.
1. I Focused on the Negative.
It may not work for everyone, but for me, focusing on his negative traits actually helped me get over him faster. By listing out all the reasons why he was such an ass, it made me realize that I deserved to be with someone better.
2. I Took a Girls’ Trip.
Nothing mends a broken heart like lying out on a tropical beach with a Mai Tai in your hand and not a care in the world. Not only did my girls’ trip help me reconnect with my BFFs, but it also helped me to completely forget about my ex for a few days. It’s hard to feel sad and depressed when you’re soaking up the sun in the middle of paradise.
3. I Unfriended Him.
Some may call it petty, but I knew in order to move on I needed to unfriend him from every social media platform. The last thing I wanted to see was his face on the top of my newsfeed every time I logged in to Facebook and Instagram. As soon as I unfriended him, I immediately felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.
4. I Cried Like a Big Baby.
It didn’t matter how many times my friends told me to “forget him” — it just wasn’t that easy. I needed time to grieve and mourn the relationship coming to an end, and that included many days of crying my damn eyes out. Nothing feels better than releasing your emotions through a series of hour-long sob sessions. I gave myself a timeframe of a week to cry it out, and then I was able to start putting myself back together again.
5. I Tossed Everything.
Every love note, every stuffed animal, every Christmas gift, and every single remnant that was left behind to remind me of him got tossed in the trash. I went through my cell phone and deleted all of his pictures, all of his text messages, and every email he’d ever sent me. Deleting and getting rid of everything associated with him made moving on that much easier. He was essentially erased from my life.
6. I Wrote Him a Letter… Then Burned It.
I poured my heart out in one last handwritten letter where I expressed exactly how I felt about things coming to an end. I acknowledged the part I played in the breakup, I forgave him for breaking my heart, and then I watched the letter go up in flames and burn to a crisp.
7. I Hit the Gym.
I never imagined sweating it out in a cramped and stinky gym could actually make me feel so much better about myself. Not only did my body tone up and transform, but after a good workout session, I would just instantly feel amazing from the inside out. Who knew a little bit of cardio would be the key to mending a broken heart?
8. I Avoided Dating for A while.
It was tempting for me to get back out there and start dating again, but I knew I needed some time to really get over the breakup first. By avoiding the dating world for a while, I was able to focus more on myself, come to grips with the breakup, and figure out what qualities I really wanted in my next partner.
9. I Took Advantage of Being Alone.
I was so used to being a part of a couple that when things came to an end, I literally didn’t know what to do with myself. My newfound freedom was exhilarating. I didn’t have to answer to anyone, I didn’t have to check-in if I was going to be out late, and I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.
10. I Stopped Thinking About the Past.
When my mind would wander and reminisce about all the good times we shared, it only made me miss him more. I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely wipe him from my memory, but whenever my mind would start to think about him and the past, I would quickly switch gears and start thinking of something else instead. By controlling my thoughts, I was able to stop living in the past and put my focus on the present and the future.
By Stassi Reid for Bolde