And they aren’t holding back.
A guy friend of mine said that assuming men are afraid of commitment is very sexist. It’s very difficult to generalize men without knowing what stage they are in their lives. Basically, men and women both want to love and be loved.
It’s important to know where men (and women) are in their lives, and if they even want a relationship. If you do, are you dating someone who also wants the same kind of relationship, or are you just molding yourself too much to fit his/her life?
Relationships take work, but they shouldn’t make you feel like it takes too much effort. That’s one of the reasons it’s very hard to commit— fundamentally, because you just don’t want to. However, there are things that men WANT to commit to.
1. She’s the most beautiful girl in the world.
“I will only commit if she’s the hottest girl in the world, aside from Olivia Munn.” —Mario, 29
2. We have a strong connection.
“Mutual connection matters the most. The minute you find it, you run towards it. When you aren’t a 100 percent sure, you just drift apart.” —Amad, 28
3. She has an authentic personality.
“I want a girl who is genuine. In the end, all that matters is what is real.” —Brian, 25
4. We’re compatible.
“Intellectual compatibility and sexual compatibility are important. One without the other doesn’t work.” —Stan, 32
5. She gives off a little bit of mystery.
“I always fall for the ones who are hard to get. I like the chase! I feel I’m ready to commit when I first meet a spontaneous girl, but once I know her, it fades.” —Michael, 30
6. We’re comfortable around each other.
“The kind of woman I would commit to would be someone I’m completely comfortable with, regarding our physical, psychological and sexual compatibility. I should be able to talk to her about anything.” —Jon, 45
7. She has good morals.
“It’s hard to say one, but I admire values consisting of dignity, loyalty, honesty and trust. That’s not a lot to ask for, is it?” —Jamal, 25
8. We met each other at the perfect time.
“Timing is the most important thing. If I’m looking for a committed relationship, it’s easier, because when I was younger, I met some amazing women who I could see myself committing to now, but then, I wanted to have fun.” —Tate, 30
9. We were in each other’s lives for the right amount of time.
“It took me over five years to realize that I had been in love with my best friend, but I never really thought about us hooking up. I should have known because I always fought with her when she met a new dude at the bar or started seeing someone, who always ended up being douchebags. I’m always protective of her. I love her and respect her. She has been the only constant in my life that’s always changing.” —Matt, 30
10. She’s accepting of my lifestyle.
“I can commit to a girl if she doesn’t make me change my lifestyle. I want to hang with my boys and go to sports games, bars or strip clubs without a tight leash around my neck. A man needs his freedom.” —Calvin, 23
By Anjana Rajbhandary for YourTango