Why are the men you could care less about the only ones asking you out? And how come you can’t get the attention of the men you like?
1.You Don’t Meet Enough MenThere are a number of factors at play that contribute to your frustrating dating results. Many single women complain about this same dating scenario. I’m going to explain the three biggest reasons why you magically attract the wrong guys and how you can turn this irritating fact around.
When women come to me about finding love, one of the biggest complaints is how the wrong men always ask them out. This seems to be a consistent theme that depresses them about dating. Sometimes this situation alone keeps them sitting at home without hope for romance.
The trouble boils down to one thing – these women simply don’t meet enough men. Every once in a while they go out to mingle and get derailed easily when the very first guy approaches. Once a man who is not from the dream team starts a conversation, that’s it for the night.
Women often quit after the first wrong guy pays attention to them and this is why they don’t meet better quality men. They don’t hang in there long enough for the good men to find them. One substandard guy is all they can handle and these women shut down for the night. They want to run home or retreat to an all girl evening where they are safe and comfortable.
I want you to keep this important fact about men in mind; Quality men aren’t always the boldest or the first to ask you out. Some hang back to watch how you behave around other men to minimize their risk of rejection. Men don’t enjoy being rejected so they observe before they are willing to approach. If you bail at the first unsatisfactory encounter, you doom yourself to the single life.
The Solution:
You might like to feel safe and cozy, but that will never help you meet your dream guy. As a single woman you need to push yourself to meet several men in an evening if possible. The more men you meet the better your chances of finding one you click with.
Strengthen your belief that you will find the right man and persevere! No giving up after talking to one man you don’t like! Instead, stay positive and ask yourself, “Who is next?” This sets a positive expectation about who you could meet which dramatically improves your chances of meeting a good man.
2. You Aren’t Open or Friendly
Okay, you might not agree with me on this, but hear me out. The hard truth is if the wrong men ask you out, that lets you know you’re not as open to men as you think. Chances are you’re not very friendly either. Yes you go out with the hopes of meeting men, but then you don’t do much to actually meet them. You stick with your girlfriends, sit at a table and make yourself unavailable!
If you were friendly, you would sit at the bar and strike up a conversation with several men throughout the evening. You might compliment one guy on his choice of shirt color or tie (I could never resist talking to a man wearing a pink, peach or purple button down shirt). Maybe you enlist the man next to you to get the bar tender’s attention or simply ask how his evening is going.
The Solution:
To meet great men you have to be willing to flirt and start things rolling. When you enjoy a little eye-contact, smile and start the conversation, you’re far more likely to talk to the men you do want. Take charge of who you meet when you go out. This is not being aggressive – it’s being flirty and friendly and it works!
3. You Are Judgmental and Critical of Most Men
You go out with a girlfriend, look around at the men in the place and start complaining right away. None of them are good enough. Once your energy drops to “venting mode” you’ve made yourself unattractive and unapproachable. No wonder you don’t meet the men you want to meet!
When you are critical and cross every man off your list, you will keep yourself single. Men can feel your judgmental character and will stay away. Many people use their intuition even if they aren’t fully aware they are relying on this innate skill. Men can absolutely sense who is closed off and looking down on them.
The Solution:
Your habit of being disappointed with the crowd has to change. The fact is you have no idea who might be a good match until you try talking to the men to discover what they’re about. Relax and be curious about people – that’s how you get to know them! Simply enjoy meeting men, even if you have only a few minutes of conversation and nothing more transpires.
When you take the pressure off and are more open, you will exude confidencewhich makes you highly attractive to the quality men you want. Put these three tips to work for you and watch your love life take off like you never dreamed possible. Give yourself a chance to find love with the quality man you deserve.
By Ronnie Ann Ryan for DigitalRomance