You’re tired. Even you know it. You’re exhausted of being everyone’s welcome mat; of being everyone’s stepping stone. You’re tired of having people walk all over you and having absolutely nothing to show for it. You are just plain sick of being used and abused by everyone around you and you know that you need to make a change.
You probably feel really bad about where you are in life right now. It hurts to be merely an option in the eyes of the people who matter the most to you. And yet there you are, you still maintain your patience and your resilience. You still maintain the hope that you’re eventually going to get bumped up to priority status. You know that you have a great personality. You know that you have lots of things to offer to the world. You definitely know that you deserve to be the top choice for many people. You deserve to be getting better treatment than what you’re getting now. And yet there you are, allowing yourself to remain an option. Why do you do that? Why do you subject yourself to this kind of torment and torture?
Maybe you are just a little too kind, thoughtful, and generous for your own good. Maybe you have a tendency to just let people walk all over you because you have such a tender and soft heart.
Maybe you care a little too much about the feelings of the people around you, but you don’t care enough about how you’re feeling yourself. You know that the actions of the people around you are hurting you on a daily basis. These people are very important to you and yet they don’t give you the same kind of respect and love that you give to them. But you’re still too shy to demand more from them. You still don’t think that you’re worthy to ask for anything more.
At this point, you’re just so strong. You’re willing to let herself wallow in your own pain so that other people won’t have to go through hardships. You would willingly sacrifice her own happiness so that others can be happy in your stead.
However, you’ve got things all wrong and you have really got to put a stop to all this self-inflicted pain. You know why? People can see right through you. They see just how much you don’t give a damn about your own life. They see that you don’t value your own sense of self-worth. They see that you don’t actually respect yourself enough to defend yourself or demand for what you want. And so they know just how weak of a personality you have; they will try to exploit it and they will exploit you. They will walk all over you just because they know that you would let them. You don’t give yourself the kind of treatment that you deserve, so how can you expect anyone else to?
You have to understand that the moment you start giving yourself the kind of respect that you actually deserve, then the people around you are going to follow.
But unfortunately, you’re not there yet. You are still paralyzed by your own psychology. You’re not at the right place emotionally and you still have a tendency to be impulsive and indecisive at the same time. You have a heart that is made of pure gold, but it is often easily manipulated and misled. You are incredibly hardheaded and you are very stubborn. You would jump through hoops of fire for the people that you love the most and you almost always never expect anything in return. You have grown accustomed to the fact that people just don’t give you what you’re worth.
But everyone can see it in your eyes. You’re tired. Even you know it. You’re exhausted of being everyone’s welcome mat; of being everyone’s stepping stone. You’re tired of having people walk all over you and having absolutely nothing to show for it. You are just plain sick of being used and abused by everyone around you and you know that you need to make a change. You know that your kindness and your love is no longer healthy. In fact, it’s an unhealthy obsession that you have with hurting yourself for the sake of others.
What you really need to do right now is to just take a step back from this life that you’re living. Stop rushing and diving into anything that’s bad for you. Take your time and let life come to you in its slow and gradual pace. You don’t always have to be pushing the tempo. Take the deepest breath that you can and let the oxygen that fills your lungs refresh you. Restart your system and make a resolve to start living a better life for yourself.
Yes, you’re not exactly caught in your most ideal state. You would want a much better life than what you’re living now, and all of your past experiences have made you who you are today. But know that your past doesn’t necessarily have to define your future. Remember that you still have full ownership of your life and you can still take control. You still have the power to love yourself.
By A for RelationshipRules