I once read somewhere that the difference between guys and girls when it comes to missing someone is girls feel everything immediately. But it takes guys a little bit longer to realize it.
So then I got to wondering, if that’s the case why do people lose each other at all?
Over time it becomes just another relationship that’s ended. Two hearts hurting. Two people gone. Ego and pride overtake genuine feelings leading to a silence that goes from days to weeks to months. Then you realize this person who you knew better than anyone becomes a stranger.
We break each other’s hearts by hiding the things we feel. The moments of vulnerability. The moments we wish we could say something. But we don’t. The moments we want to make it right. Only no one takes that step.
We are waiting for the other person to make the first move.
That’s how you become strangers with someone you loved and cared about.
So if you’re wondering why you haven’t heard from her, if you’re wondering if she misses you, if you are wondering where she is or who she’s with or who she’s sleeping next to at night…do something about it.
The answer is yes. How could she not miss someone like you?
The truth is she’s trying to just keep busy to keep her mind off of you. And she does everything to distract herself from the pain she feels. She misses you even if she’s not saying it.
So if you miss her too…
Say something. Do something. Don’t lose someone who cares about you because she still does. And she probably always will.
Because the truth is she misses you too. She’s just trying to be strong. The truth is there’s a list of things she wishes she could say but she’s letting silence overcome what’s in her heart. The truth is she followed her heart and it led her to dead end alone. Now she’s following her head but all of it is unnatural to someone like her. All of it is her fighting against herself because she thinks if you missed her, you’d say something.
The truth is the silence irks her and while her life seems a little quieter, it’s a silence that haunts her. She hasn’t reached out to anyone in days and when her phone does go off she keeps wishing it’s your name she sees. But all it is are close friends asking how she’s doing.
She’s trying to be strong. But everything about you being gone brings her to her knees, as she tosses and turns at night.
She thinks time, space and distance are for the best but how could anything that hurts this much be for the best.
She doesn’t want to invest time, emotion and energy into someone who doesn’t miss her too. So she’s trying to put on a brave face. But it’s killing her to be this strong. It’s killing her to not hear from you. It’s killing her to miss you like she does. But she doesn’t think you care. She doesn’t think you give a half a shit.
Why miss someone who doesn’t miss you?
But I know you miss her too. I know you’re wondering what’s she up to these days. Because when you form an emotional connection with someone, leaving doesn’t just affect one-half of the whole, it affects everyone involved.
You didn’t just impact her life, she impacted yours too.
I know you miss telling her things. I know you miss the hour conversations that made days go by quicker. You miss her insight. Her advice. Her guidance. You miss seeing something and sending it to her. Now everything you look at reminds you of her. I know you miss the time you spent together as those memories play on repeat in your mind. It’s the little things that creep up.
And you type something only to delete it because part of you wants to push send but you’re also just waiting for her to make that move.
Each of you are waiting.
Each of you still cares.
But each of you are doing nothing about it.
You didn’t just come into each other’s lives to become another sad story you each regret. You are so much more than that. You are so much better than that.
And I know you still care. I know you miss her too.
And if you ask me how I know, it’s because she’s feeling these things too, she’s staying silent refusing to admit, you were one of the best things that have ever happened to her.
By Kirsten Corley for ThoughtCatalog