You’re lying awake on what is another sleepless night. How you wished you could just stay sleeping. But you’re interrupted by a harsh reality that is your life.
It’s another 2am. It’s another lonely night. It’s another battle inside your head that pulls at you, like a tug of war. These voices that creep into the night telling you all these things, and you wish you could just turn it off. You want to change the dial in your brain, but they are always there, lingering, waiting, watching so they know when to strike at any moment.
This is depression. And this is living with it.
But what they don’t tell you about depression is, it lies. That voice inside your head is telling you a string of lies, I’m asking you to not believe.
Depression lies and here’s why you shouldn’t believe it.
Because you are worth it. But depression says you’re a burden.
Because it will get better. But depression says it will only get worse.
Because you are normal. But depression says there’s something wrong with you.
Depression lies and here’s why you shouldn’t believe it.
Because you aren’t sleeping. But depression says there’s a way to sleep forever.
Because you aren’t eating. Because depression says if you cave you’re weak.
Because you have friends. But depression convincing you, you’re lonely.
Because you may be social. But depression is living in your own world sometimes.
Because you may be confident. But depression asks why and tries to knock you.
Depression lies and here’s why you shouldn’t believe it.
Because you matter.
Because you are loved.
Because this pain you are feeling is felt not only among you but many others.
Because I know you feel alone.
I know you feel not worth it.
I know you have these dark thoughts, that things would be better, the world would be better, things would stop hurting if you end it.
But that is depression fooling you again.
Because it has never been a person who commits suicide, but rather this disease that lies to them. It tells them things and gets inside their head and it doesn’t go away and the thoughts don’t end until you end things yourself.
But depression lies and you shouldn’t believe it.
And here I am, where you are, whatever you are doing, whatever internal battle you are struggling to fight off. I’m asking don’t listen. Because depression lies. But I’m here asking you to stay.
By Kirsten Corley for ThoughCatalog