I had a habit of making excuses for people, I would think of all kinds of scenarios to explain their odd or flaky behavior or believe my own lies instead of getting disappointed.
But I’ve come to realize that the more excuses you make for people, the more you get hurt. The more you lie to yourself, the more they will lie to you.
So I learned to stop.
I stopped decoding mixed messages and reading between the lines because people who care about you enough will always send you messages you don’t need to analyze or question.
I stopped tolerating people who say too much and do too little and I learned to let their actions speak instead.
I stopped making exceptions for people who don’t make exceptions for me.
I stopped going out of my way for people who only want me when it’s convenient for them.
I stopped being there for people who weren’t there when I needed them.
I stopped reaching out to those who only respond when they feel like it.
I stopped thinking that people respond to kindness with kindness — some people respond to kindness with selfishness.
I stopped thinking that people can be super busy and don’t have a minute to type a few words. It’s all about priorities.
I stopped believing drunk words that lose their meaning when the sun comes up.
I stopped being too understanding and started being rational.
I stopped complicating my life and started simplifying it.
Those who care, will find ways to be there and those who don’t will find ways to run away. It’s as simple as that.
Those who love you, will show you, will tell you. Those who don’t will always love you only when they need your love and then forget you when they get it.
Those who want you in their lives, will make an effort, will stay in touch, will remember occasions and birthdays and milestones and will not go months without asking about you. Those who don’t will always be stuck in the grey area between strangers and friends or friends and lovers.
I stopped seeing people in shades of grey.
People are either black or white. They’re either with you or against you. They either love you or they don’t. They either care about you or they don’t give a shit. They either make excuses not to be in your life or find reasons to be in it.
By Rania Naim for ThoughtCatalog