When you fall for someone who cannot love you back, then you know you are standing on a strange land where no one knows how to help you escape.
As if dealing with love and loss was not already a challenge, there are other, more tormenting scenarios where pain and helplessness just become unbearable. Getting love and then being denied of it is the usual course of things but when you fall for someone who cannot love you back then you know you are standing on a strange land where no one knows how to help you escape. You love a person and they agree to get together but in quiet, when life moves on, you see that they are unable to love you. That is where it gets difficult.
You see them participating but you never see them indulging.
Whatever they do for you and for the relationship, they will do it because they feel restrained. You will get a cold I love you too in reply of I love you, you will get a date when you ask for one and you will always find yourself to be the one asking. You will be the center of the relationship when there is not supposed to be any center; you will decide things single-handedly when things are supposed to be mutual and you will feel alone even when you are with him/her.
Some people are made to give half of whatever they can give, be it love or attention. Even if the person you have fallen for is able to reciprocate your love, it will be in halves and parts. You will never get a completely meaningful I love you too or a fully honest answer. That is the thing about people who are unable to love. Even though you will have mixed feelings, you know you have fallen for someone who is not close to the reality of love, who is not able to see how beautiful love is. You have started loving someone who knows how to play the ritual but does not know how to mean it. You have loved someone who does not know how to love you back.
Half Love Is Not Healthy
It is unhealthy to function with half love and unpleasant like it is with consuming half diet. It leaves you with a feeling of emptiness, void and doubt. You know you are with someone but you also know that it is not that special. You know you have someone but you don’t really have them. And besides all the feelings of incompleteness, you start second-guessing and doubting yourself.
Half love is what makes your self-doubt grow and become an enormous complex which can stay inside you for a while like a deadly virus. The emotional absence of your partner makes you wonder if half love, half attention is what you deserve. You start settling and adjusting for average and you start feeling okay with them not going an extra mile for you because, at least, you have someone unlike so many single people out there. That is where you are doing wrong. Half love is not healthy and you are only poisoning yourself by accepting and adjusting with it when you deserve full, complete love.
Why Can’t They Feel It?
Some people just cannot put their guards down. For them, love is a faraway land of which they know nothing. All they know about is that two people stay together and feelings can make them look vulnerable. Such people are sick and they need help. They were taught that happiness is guaranteed best when you keep every other emotion safe inside your heart. They were taught to be stonehearted; love has never been introduced as a solution to them.
This gives birth to selfishness in such people. They are protective of their own hearts and are too busy doing so to see what is going on with yours. For people who cannot love, love is a task which, too, is out of the question for them to perform. They can fake it but they can never truly take it.
You Deserve More
Half love and divided attention can make you feel like you are hard to love. You don’t quit because you see the love they are hiding in hopes of getting it out one day. You do all of it while constantly showering your own love upon them. Have you ever wondered what happens when you run out of that love since it is never reciprocated for you to always have enough?
You don’t deserve that half love. While in the mess of it, you forget that there is someone out there who is ready to give you your love back, who will not break your heart every time you give it to him/her. You are not hard to love and although you have loved someone who does not know how to love, you can always pull back for your own sake.
You deserve the best. Love, in some forms, can be destructive and half-love is one of those forms. It’s never too late; take the exit and explore because when you loved someone who could not reciprocate it, how better will you love someone who loves you just the same amount?
By Kaetlyn Summers for RelRules