I’m left here today with a thousand unsolved mysteries and even more regrets. So listen to me when I tell you this- If you truly love someone, don’t let them go without a fight! Tell them your day isn’t complete without listening to the sound of their voice. Tell them their smile is the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen. Tell them that you would fight the entire world just to be with them. Tell them that they’re the love of your life, instead of letting them be the love that will continue to haunt your mind forever.
Have you ever felt the pain of losing someone who was never even yours to begin with? For quite some time in my life, I never understood this concept. I never understood how a person could end up feeling so devastated about another person, a relationship, or a lost love, that never even had a true beginning or a true end.
I remember the first time I was introduced to a situation like this. It was years ago and I was talking to a guy who had fallen in love with his best friend. I’m sure you’ve guessed what I’m going to write next- the best friend was already in a committed relationship since 5 years! He never saw it coming. He never planned on falling for her. And once he did, he never even got the courage to actually say it to her face. So he talked about it with the people around him. He told me how one smile on her beautiful face made his whole world seem brighter. He told me how his heart skipped a beat every time he saw her approaching. He told me how he could spend his entire life just listening to her talk. He told me how her laugh always felt like music to his ears. He told me how he felt butterflies in his stomach every time she shook his hand or gave him a hug. And he told me how he was absolutely sure that she is his one true love!
He told me all of this with a sparkle in his eyes and passion in his voice. He would go on and on about her until someone or something would suddenly remind him of that one bitter reality- she was the love he could never have! The reality that would cause his excitement to fade away. The reality that would force him to stop talking about her with endless love. The reality that replaced the sparkle in his eyes with the kind of pain that I had never seen before…
And as soon as that happened, I held his hand. I told him it would get less painful with time. I told him he would find someone else. I told him this wasn’t the end. But in my heart, I was never quite sure about what I was consoling him for. I didn’t understand how he could love a person so deeply without even being in an actual relationship with her. I wondered if the pain he described was actually something real and meaningful or if it was only the result of a temporary infatuation- something he wouldn’t even remember a few months down the line.
I never understood all of it until it happened to me…
So I sit here today recalling that one meeting, thinking about how wrong I was for questioning that guy’s feelings. I wish I could meet him again, maybe console him a little better, and tell him I finally know exactly how it feels. I know now that the love we can’t ever have is the love that will last the longest, the love that will feel the strongest, and the love that will hurt the deepest. It’s the love that will give you a thousand sleepless nights. It’s the love that will enter your thoughts in a moment when you least expect it. And it’s the love that will leave your soul aching for answers to a thousand “What ifs?”
“What if I had just told them about my feelings once?”
“What if I had tried to convince them?”
“What if I fought a bit harder to make them stay?”
“What if I swallowed my pride and told them how badly I had fallen in love?”
“What if I allowed myself to be vulnerable just that one time?”
“What if I just sent them a simple text, saying “I miss you”?”
“What if they would have chosen me?”
I’m left here today with a thousand unsolved mysteries and even more regrets. So listen to me when I tell you this- If you truly love someone, don’t let them go without a fight! Tell them your day isn’t complete without listening to the sound of their voice. Tell them their smile is the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen. Tell them that you would fight the entire world just to be with them. Tell them that they’re the love of your life, instead of letting them be the love that will continue to haunt your mind forever.
It doesn’t matter if they say no. It doesn’t matter if it ends up badly. It doesn’t matter if they choose someone else. Because when all is said and done, you won’t be left with any regrets, any “what ifs?”, and any painful reminders of an incredible love story that you never even fought for!
By Misty Renee for RelRules