Change. Something most of us don’t like or even get frightened off. If possible, we would avoid it, ignore it and hope it goes past us without noticing us. Even if we are aware of the possible outcomes that come with it, we feel too comfortable and familiar to let change shift our focus and wakes us up from a deep slumber. Ignoring the alarm bells of a current situation, we snug back into our cave and close our eyes to send ourselves back into a state of hibernation.
What is it that we rather embrace something familiar yet valueless instead of accepting that change is inevitable in some particular cases?
For starters, it might have to do with the act of confrontation. More specifically, confronting a person or a group of people to make the change up and running.
I don’t know about you, but confrontation is a tricky territory for me. I don’t like to be the one who confronts someone or be the one who gets confronted. Either way, it’s not on my list of favorite things to do, softly expressed at least. Needless to say, I used to avoid change when it’s involved with the necessity of confronting someone. I would postpone it until it’s not longer an option to do it. Some changes are easier to incorporate than others. Moving to another country? Scary but doable. Changing diets to maintain a healthy lifestyle? Annoying but necessary. Any change that doesn’t directly have to do with other people are less intimidated to execute than when it is the case.
But it is precisely those changes that lead to the greatest breakthroughs.
It is precisely those intimidating ones that we need to look out for and grasp by its throat and look them straight in the eyes. Even more so, it is our responsibility towards ourselves to make those changes happen.
Like in this case, I have put my life on hold to keep those around me in the back of my mind even though it’s obvious from afar that it is not healthy to keep those relationships around me, whether it is passively or actively dominating our life. If you suffer from current relations, it’s time to take a step back and really consider what the best is for yourself and not anyone else for that matter.
It’s time to burn some bridges to move on.
It’s time to cut some ties loose in order to string other ties tighter back on.
If we don’t make space again for the ones who really have the best interest for us, then we are actually neglecting their time and attention that they have genuinely given to us without expecting something back in return.
The duration of a relation does not per se determines the quality of it nor should it be the only reason to keep those relations around you. Try to break through that thought and see what the foundation of it is really. Is it a sense of obligation because of the fact that it’s a family member? Is it a sense of commitment because of promises that you made towards that person? What is it that you allow them to have space in your life?
Dig deep to find out what kind of relations you have with those around you.
Think before you simply describe someone as a friend. Why is someone your friend? Simply because you have things in common and happen to like to complain about the same things? Ask yourself, is that enough for you to maintain a friendship? Same goes for family. Why would you accept them when they treat you however they like, simply because they happen to be one of your family members?
Nothing worth is keeping when it is attacking your well-being and sanity.
Sometimes it is more than necessary to burn bridges with those we thought were the closest to us. Do it relentlessly in your own way to make sure that it cannot be built back on again.
By Kimberley Chung for ThoughtCatalog