*hair flip*
Boys love to tell us we’re full of it. No matter how many times you say you’re not interested in dating him, a guy keeps insisting you’re into it. No matter how many times you tell your boyfriend you want him to be more romantic or nicer to your mom, he waves you off and does nothing to change his behavior.
The only way men start to listen is when you stop giving them attention. And somehow, many men (not all!!) will come to the conclusion that this was all a game. You asking for what you want and then leaving when you didn’t get it is apparently just a ploy to get them to notice you, an attempt at playing hard to get.
Sorry, no. I’ve been told I’m picky, hard to please and that my standards are way too high. I consider myself a generally easy going person, but for some reason, the men I date find it completely mind-boggling when I ask for what I want in a relationship and leave when I’m not getting it.
Even now that I’m single and back in the dating game, I’m still finding the whole “playing hard to get” card used way too often for my taste. Especially when it comes to men I’m not interested in dating.
If I don’t like you, I’m not going to date you. I have no idea why that’s so difficult to understand from a confident woman like me.
When you’ve been in a few serious relationships, you start to really learn what it is you want. Dating just to date isn’t really interesting anymore, and you’d rather just enjoy you’re time being single until someone you really like comes along.
I’m not playing hard to get. I am hard to get, because I’m waiting for someone who’s worth my time.
Now, this sounds super narcissistic and typing that sentence almost made me eye roll myself (which is possible if you look in a mirror), but it isn’t as bad as it sounds.
I don’t have some hugely inflated ego and think all men but Chris Pratt and James Marsden are beneath me (though that might be half true). It’s because I know who I am, what I want, and I’m not going to settle for something other than that just because it’s easy.
Women don’t play hard to get. We are hard to get, because we know what we want and we’re sticking to finding what’s important to us. We’d much rather focus on our careers and our passions and spend time with a guy we don’t see ourselves with long term.
Yes I get that everyone deserves a chance, and you might learn to love someone the more you spend time with them. But from my own personal experience, if I didn’t get a crazy, “oh man, I wanna be with this dude” from the beginning, it doesn’t develop later on.
If you’re secure with yourself, trusting your instincts should be no problem. Don’t start dating a guy just because he likes you and you enjoy the attention.
So next time you feel like you’re getting a “no” vibe from a girl, stop thinking it’s a game. She is hard to get, and unless you’re willing to do what it takes to get her (and if you’re the kind of person she wants to be with), then leave her alone, bro.
Don’t worry about wasting her time — because she won’t let you.
By Emily Blackwood for YourTango