You still miss him so much.
You like to pretend that you don’t. You hang out with your friends and agree with them that you’re so much better off without him. You do all the things that are supposed to help in your healing by surrounding yourself with positive people and engaging in so many uplifting activities. You focus on the abundance of blessing in your life just so you won’t think of the things that didn’t work out.
I know you’re doing all you can to cope and this is a tough period for you. I wish I were there right now to give you a hug and tell you that all is not lost and the days ahead will get better and brighter. Please don’t blame yourself for not seeing it coming or not being able to prevent this. Don’t blame yourself for not healing yet because you really can’t put a timeline on it and you will heal when you’re ready.
I want to remind you that as difficult as it is to hear this, it’s better to cut your losses short than to prolong the pain. You have to let him go and release this burden that has been weighing you down. You have to continue to push through and believe that your faith will guide you out of the darkness.
I want to tell you how strong you are for not letting this experience harden you and being ever willing to give love a chance. It doesn’t matter what your relationship duration was or what happened, your pain is valid.
I want to reassure you that time indeed heal all wound. It will take a long time but one day in the future, you will go on the whole day before registering that he barely cross your mind. Love won’t be something that you only associated with him. It won’t bring tears to your eyes and hurt you as he did.
I know you find it scary to be single, as you never like to be alone. You find it worrying that you’re getting older yet you’re nowhere close to finding your soulmate. You find it daunting to put yourself out there and meet new people. But slowly, you will come to understand that everything happens for a reason and this is for the best.
You won’t want to be living on the edge by being with someone who isn’t sure if he wants to be with you. You won’t want to be with someone who takes the easy way out and gives you excuses instead of absolute commitment. You won’t want someone who makes love so complicated and hard. You won’t want to be with someone that isn’t certain if you’re the one for him.
Now looking back, you know you don’t regret knowing him and being with him. You still miss him and you wish that things were different. But you don’t want him back. You don’t need him anymore.
You have accepted that you’re better off without him and you know that happiness is within you. You know that you will be okay without him.
By Liane White for ThoughtCatalog