Investing your time and energy in a guy who refuses to make things official isn’t just a waste of time, it’s keeping you from finding real, lasting love with a guy who’ll be proud to have you by his side. Here’s why you need to walk away from Mr. Wrong.
1. HE’S PROBABLY NOT THAT INTO YOU.
You have to be so careful with your heart with guys. So many of them see girls as disposable or replaceable and it’s way too easy to get caught up in their games. If he refuses to claim you in public, there’s a good chance he really doesn’t see anything with you in the future. Chances are it isn’t personal, he just wants to sample every flavor and he isn’t stopping with you.
2. HE MIGHT JUST BE USING YOU.
Don’t get mixed up with guys who ask you to give everything while they only take. If he wants your attention, your time, your body and your company but refuses to do anything that inconveniences him or solidifies your relationship, he’s using you. You have to get it through your head that he’s selfish and you don’t want that kind of guy anyway.
3. HE ISN’T GOING TO CATCH YOU IF HE FALLS.
The more you let your feelings grow for this guy, the higher the chances are that you’re going to get hurt. If he isn’t interested in claiming you, he doesn’t have your back. If you’re gushing to your girlfriends about how hopelessly in love you are with this guy and you let him consume your thoughts, don’t be surprised when you’re crushed later. You have control over your emotions, so don’t let yourself get out of control.
4. HE’S WASTING YOUR TIME.
Healthy relationships are two-sided. If you’re doing everything to care for him, show him affection, and give him pleasure but he denies you the same treatment, you’re totally wasting your time. There are tons of guys who are ready to treat a woman the right way—no wonder they get frustrated when we run around with our hearts on our sleeves for guys who don’t even care! The faster you can cut ties, the faster you can move on with your life.
5. HE’S NOT A MAN.
Let’s make one thing clear: guys who run you around and play you with no intention of getting serious are boys, not men. I don’t care if he’s totally buff, tall and handsome—he’s only an immature man-child if he doesn’t treat you with respect. Do you really want to end up babysitting a guy who isn’t truly grown up and on the same level as you? Hard pass, girl!
6. YOU HAVE TO BE REAL WITH YOURSELF.
You can’t run around yelling about how every guy’s a player when you let it happen to yourself. Take some time to really reflect on what kind of guy you want in your life, how you expect to be treated, and how your own behavior holds you back. If you’re letting a guy play you over and over, he only learns that you’re easy to manipulate. You have the power to stop that cycle, but you have to be honest with yourself and set higher standards.
7. SET YOUR STANDARDS HIGH.
You’re worth it. Get that through your head. No matter what you’ve been through, how many crappy relationships you’ve endured, or where you come from, you’re worth it. When you set high standards for yourself, the dating pool gets smaller, but don’t freak out—all you’re doing is eliminating the ones that you didn’t want to end up with anyway. Embrace the fact that you’re a beautiful, strong woman and start respecting yourself enough to enforce those standards.
8. IT’S IMPORTANT TO BE PATIENT.
I know you have a heart full of love to give, but not every guy you meet is worthy of what you have to offer. It’s tempting to let him have a taste of love and devotion but it won’t be worth it once he throws it away. Have faith that there’s a guy out there for you who will appreciate every ounce of love you give and he is worth waiting for. Don’t throw love around for anyone to take and use for themselves.
9. IT’LL BE HARDER TO MOVE ON THE LONGER YOU STAY.
It makes sense why your heart hurts after giving love, time and devotion for so long with no return, but you don’t have to let it drag on. You have the power to make a decision for yourself to reclaim your worth and all the love you gave by ending it on your terms.
10. YOU NEED TO END IT ASAP.
Even if it hurts to think about being alone, I promise you’re doing yourself a favor by dumping this loser to the curb. Let this be your glow-up moment where you tell that boy and the rest of the world that you aren’t going to fall for his games anymore. You owe it to yourself to take a break from giving yourself to people who don’t do the same.
By Andrea Thorp for Bolde