It won’t be for your looks, or your money, or what you possess. It won’t be because of your stable job or your nice home. Not for a real woman, anyway. It won’t be because you rode up on a white horse and saved her from a ridiculous, life-threatening situation. It won’t be because you climbed a tower and freed her from a life of suppression or an evil witch. It won’t be because you offered her everything that money can buy. It won’t be because you offered her a fairytale love. It won’t be because of the sex. She’s had men in her life who have offered her all of that and more.
She didn’t love a single one of them.
Not a single one.
But. . .
She’ll love you because when you made plans on a Saturday afternoon, you didn’t cancel at the last minute.
She’ll love you because when she looks at you, there aren’t the ghostly images of all the other women in your life looming between you.
She’ll love you because when she needed a partner in crime for a spontaneous day-trip she wanted to go on, you were willing to go with her.
She’ll love you because you remembered her favorite type of ice cream, and didn’t argue as to why she was wrong.
She’ll love you because even though she lived a distance away, you still made the effort to come and visit her.
She’ll love you because when she offered to cook something, you didn’t stand there critiquing it the entire time.
She’ll love you because every time she wanted to touch your shoulder or your leg or your hair in passing, you didn’t feel the need to comment on it, you just enjoyed it.
She’ll love you because never once did you make her feel like she was your second choice.
She’ll love you because you were willing to fight with her, instead of just walking away.
She’ll love you because when she was complaining about her hard day, you didn’t try to one-up her and make it seem as if though yours was worse.
She’ll love you because when you went to get yourself a drink, you brought her one back, too.
She’ll love you because you know how she takes her coffee.
She’ll love you because even when she’s rambling about the most obscure things, you’ll listen and not tune out (every time).
She’ll love you because she never found out how many other women you were texting, making her feel like nothing more than an option.
She’ll love you because when you were upset with her, you told her why, and you gave her the chance to fix it.
She’ll love you because you weren’t ashamed to introduce her to your friends.
She’ll love you because she doesn’t feel like all she is to you is a sex object, that maybe there’s something more to her than just her body.
She’ll love you because you took the time and care to cover her up in the morning as you got out of bed.
She’ll love you because you didn’t make her feel like your one and only one day, only to make her feel disregarded and discarded the next.
She’ll love you because you taught her about your interests, and didn’t get frustrated with her when she didn’t understand everything right away.
She’ll love you because when you talk about your future, she feels like she has a part in it.
She’ll love you because she never laid in bed crying, feeling like you had ripped out her heart.
She’ll love you because you left her alone when she needed it, and you didn’t take it personally.
She’ll love you because she never felt like she didn’t exist to you, even when you couldn’t talk or be near one another.
She’ll love you because you play with her hair without being asked.
She’ll love you because you never showed up just to fuck her and then leave.
She’ll love you because you indulge in her love for the holidays.
She’ll love you because you’re okay with her not needing you, but wanting you on every level.
She’ll love you because you finally made her believe in true love and all the adages that come along with it.
She’ll love you because you give her a reason to get up in the morning, and not hate the person she sees when she stares into her mirror.
She’ll love you because you remembered her birthday, and wanted to make sure she celebrated it correctly.
She’ll love you because of the way you held her hand in public.
She’ll love you because you never built up her hopes, just to let her down.
She’ll love you because you respect her.
She’ll love you because she never once had to question whether or not you were seeing someone else.
She’ll love you because you talk to her, converse with her, not just react to everything she has to say.
She’ll love you because you understand she’s her own person with her own flaws, and you accept that.
She’ll love you because she understands you’re your own person with your own flaws, and she accepts that.
She’ll love you because you were kind.
She’ll love you because you were decent.
She’ll love you because you were patient.
And, last of all, she’ll love you because when she cried over how you’ve changed everything for her and she’s both grateful and afraid, you told her that you would figure it out.
Together.
By Megan Hoffer for ThoughtCatalog