Being a strong woman who doesn’t hesitate to call guys out for their BS behavior comes with its fair share of challenges, particularly when it comes to dating. I get that I can initially come off as a little intimidating, but it really shouldn’t be that way. I’m not unapproachable or unreasonable and dating me really isn’t that hard — just be a decent person.
1. I’M NOT SORRY FOR PROTECTING MYSELF AGAINST BS.
I’ve been through a lot with men and even though I’ve been treated like crap on many occasions, I still give every new guy a fair shot to become the unicorn who’ll make all the bad experiences in my past worth it. If a guy pulls BS moves on me or treats me like I’m nothing, I don’t hesitate to speak up and tell him how I feel before moving on to someone who recognizes my worth.
2. IF YOU TREAT ME WITH RESPECT, THERE WON’T BE AN ISSUE.
Even though there might be some darkness in my past relationships, there have also been amazing experiences with good guys who I’ve parted ways with amicably. Don’t assume that I lay into every guy it doesn’t work out with just because I have a strong personality. It’s pretty simple with me — if you act like a grown up and show me a basic level of decency and respect, you’ll remain in my good books even if things don’t work out. It’s called maturity.
3. I’M NOT A BITCH — I JUST DON’T HAVE TIME FOR LOSERS.
It might seem like I’m a bitch when it comes to dating because I don’t hesitate to put any guy who behaves like a jerk in check, but the bitchiness you assume is actually just me being assertive. I’m not the type of woman who puts up with idiots and if one crosses my path and tries to knock my self-confidence down, I’m going to stand up for myself because I love myself enough to know better.
4. NOT ALLOWING MISTREATMENT IN MY LIFE ISN’T A BAD QUALITY.
I’ve let way too many jerks into my life and I’ve learned my lessons the hard way so I know what I need to do to protect myself going forward. If the law of the universe is true, then I want to make it crystal clear that I won’t stand for being treated like crap. I’d rather come across as a strong and assertive woman than one who allows guys to walk all over me.
5. IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO BE HONEST IF THINGS AREN’T WORKING OUT.
Most of the time when I call guys out for their BS, it’s when they don’t end relationships or dating experiences with any sense of decency. They think they can ghost and act completely oblivious to the fact that I’m a human being with feelings that matter. It might be a scary conversation to have, but I actually have a huge amount of respect for those guys I’ve dated who have given me a real and thoughtful ending to what we shared. All I ask for is real closure. This ghosting and benching crap is completely absurd.
6. IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE A STRONG WOMAN, TAKE YOURSELF HOME.
If you can’t handle a strong woman like me who stands up for who I am and what I believe is morally fair, then you’re probably not a strong enough man for me to begin with. If you feel intimidated or insecure about dating a strong woman who has her act together and stands up to mistreatment, admire me from afar and leave me be — don’t waste any of my time.
7. IF YOU ACT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, I WON’T HAVE TO CALL YOU OUT.
I’ve learned over time that generally the guys who are offended by my strong opinions and ability to call guys out for their garbage are usually the guys who pull the same crap that I’m standing up against in the first place. If you find yourself challenged by me and what I believe in, it’s likely because you’re the same type of jerk I want to avoid.
8. I WON’T APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING A GOOD GUY.
I’m a tough cookie and because of who I am and what I know I have to offer the right guy, I won’t apologize for having high standards and wanting a man who is both mature and thoughtful in the way that he dates me. Like I said, it really isn’t that hard — just be a decent person.
By Andrea Wesley for Bolde