Having anxiety isn’t easy, but dating someone who suffers with it can be just as difficult. We know we can be a handful, but if you can look past our struggle (or even help us while we fight it), you might come to realize that women with anxiety make pretty amazing girlfriends for all these reasons and more:
1. WE’RE MOTIVATED AF.
Sure, we get really worked up at the thought of all the stuff we need to get done, but knowing we have so much to do drives us to get it done. If we weren’t so stressed out by our daunting to do list, we wouldn’t be nearly as motivated as we are. And even though we can get a little cranky when we’re super anxious, our drive can also serve to motivate those around us, including you.
2. WE THINK THINGS THROUGH.
Overanalyzing is our specialty 1 we’re going to think through every possible outcome of every potential decision to be made in our relationship and life in general. Some see overanalysis as a bad thing; we see it as a way to avoid unnecessary obstacles or consequences. Thinking about skateboarding down the side of the roof and into the pool? We’ll tell you that if the wheels get caught on the gutter, you’ll fall and bash your head on the concrete and die. So basically we just saved your life. You’re welcome.
3. WE LIKE TO PLAN IN ADVANCE.
Not having a plan will make our stress levels incomprehensibly high, so we tend to make a plan before we act on anything. That’s not to say we always stick to those plans — life tends to get in the way and we have to learn how to adapt. Even though our extensive planning might freak you out (especially long-term planning), know that choosing the names of our future children in the first few weeks of our relationship and starting an emergency baby fund is just who we are. And a few years down the road if we get pregnant accidentally, you’ll be glad we started saving up on our first date.
4. SMALL GESTURES MEAN THE MOST TO US.
Whether we’re high maintenance or extremely low maintenance, know that we appreciate all the little things you do. When our anxiety has us pulling out our hair while curled up in a fetal position, it helps that you are there to offer a soft blanket and a warm cup of tea. And honestly, it couldn’t be more simple to please us. We just like to know that you’re there for us.
5. WE LIKE HAVING OUR PERSONAL SPACE.
Offering comfort is great when we need it, but there will be days when we just need time for ourselves. This isn’t our way of pushing you away — it’s an opportunity for you to have some time to yourself or with your friends as well. Sometimes we need to unwind on our own, and it’s good for you to have your own personal time too.
6. BUT WE ALSO DEPEND A LOT ON YOU.
Although having our personal space is important, we do depend on you to still be there emotionally for us even when you aren’t around us physically. Your love and support mean the world to us, and we need you in our lives. You are capable of calming us down, and we appreciate having someone as reliable as you around.
7. WE’RE ALWAYS LOOKING OUT FOR YOU.
You never have to question whether or not we care because we show it in every thing we say and do for you. We tend to mother you a bit — did you remember your keys? do you need a jacket? don’t forget your phone! — and it’s because we’re always worried. Worrying is common for women with anxiety, but it’s a great thing because it means that we care about you.
8. WE’RE EXTREMELY HONEST AND UPFRONT.
Lying gives us anxiety. Trying to remember a lie gives us anxiety. Attempting to act normal while lying gives us anxiety. Basically we literally can’t lie to you — it stresses us out too much, and it’s easier to just be honest. Even if it’s hard to tell you the truth about something, we have to just suck it up and tell you. Don’t expect any surprise parties for your birthday either; we can’t keep secrets from you. Having your trust is important to us, so we’ll always be honest no matter what.
9. WE PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THE RELATIONSHIP.
The thought of our relationship falling apart because we didn’t do enough to make it last gives us nightmares. We can’t bear the idea of you leaving because we didn’t try hard enough, so we do everything we can to make things work.. Our goal is to give you a million reasons to stay, but never to give you even one reason to leave.
10. WE’RE ALWAYS OPEN ABOUT HOW MUCH WE LOVE YOU.
Our biggest fear in a relationship is that you’ll someday wake up and realize you don’t love us anymore. Because we know how terrifying it is to feel that way, we do our best to make sure you never feel that way yourself. There will never be a moment that you are unsure of our love for you. We’ll remind you first thing when we wake up, throughout the day, after a fight, and before we go to bed at night. Our anxiety is a blessing in a way, because we’ll always ensure that you feel loved.
By Kristan Buck for Bolde