Are you the only one pulling your weight?
One-sided relationships are actually a really sad thing.
The reason I find it so sad is because it may not have always been one-sided, and often, one partner is left investing time and energy into a relationship that the other partner as already emotionally detached from.
I used to be ashamed to say that I was in a one-sided relationship, but I am not ashamed of it anymore. It has helped me identify what a one-sided relationship is and what it really entails.
As the dating and relationship world changes as time goes on, so do the actions and behaviors of others as we all adapt to an ever-changing society.
I’m sure they have pretty much stayed the same except technology has a bigger role in one-sided relationships than it did in previous decades.
Here is the list of ultimate signs you’re in a one-sided relationship, so hopefully you can save yourself the pain and drama if you find yourself in one:
1. You are always making the plans.
If it weren’t for you, there would never be any plans and your partner may or may not even notice. You will be the one to make plans and arrangements while your partner couldn’t be bothered to do anything of the like.
2. You’re always initiating conversations and communication.
You seem to be the one initiating text messages by saying “good morning” or asking how your partner’s day is while your partner does not do the same in return.
You tend to be the one to bring up important and pertinent issues in the relationship but your partner always keeps it at surface level.
3. You don’t feel comfortable telling your partner things.
You start to feel uncomfortable telling your partner anything. Your partner may or may not even be listening to you and you may not feel validated or supported.
4. You feel as if your partner couldn’t care less what is going on in your life.
Your partner never asks you about things going on in your life whether it be family, work, or school. It is as if your life is non-existent.
5. You’re always there for your partner. Always.
If your partner comes to you with a problem or issue or needs an opinion, you are always there when you are able to be which is more often than not.
6. He only responds to your text messages or phone calls sporadically or when they “feel like it”.
It’s always on their time and when they feel like responding. It’s never important enough for your partner to respond right away or within a decent time frame even when you know they are always on their phone when you are together.
7. You are an obligation and not a priority.
You feel like you are a bother to your partner rather than someone your partner wants to hang out with whether it’s a night on the town or a night in watching your favorite shows.
You feel like your partner doesn’t want to spend time with you and instead, you feel like you are on a schedule or time frame with your partner.
8. Your love or romantic gestures are rarely, if ever, reciprocated.
There is a lack of reciprocity between you and your partner. You do all of these small, little gestures to let your partner know you appreciate and care for them while rarely receiving so much as a thank you.
9. You lack a social life as a couple.
You rarely go out together. You guys don’t hang out with friends together as dating or a couple. No one sees you out together.
10. You may feel more used than loved.
You may feel like you are a passing of time until something better comes along for your partner. You may feel you are being used for sexual reasons. You feel less love and more of a convenience to your partner.
11. Your partner is always canceling or rescheduling.
Rescheduling or canceling plans to go hang out with friends or maybe because your partner straight up doesn’t feel like doing anything that day or evening.
12. The relationship is more draining than it is energizing or refreshing.
Relationships take time and effort but that doesn’t mean it is supposed to be draining. You feel you are expending more time and energy into the relationship than your partner.
13. You start becoming resentful.
When you do not feel loved, supported, or cared for…you start to build resentment for your partner. It builds and builds until you are unable to hold it in any longer and you may possibly snap and with good reason.
14. It’s mainly about what your partner wants and rarely taking into consideration what you want.
It’s always about where your partner wants to eat or what your partner wants to listen to in the car ride without any consideration for you and what you may want to eat or listen to. It’s always what your partner is going through and experiencing rather than what you have been going through or how you feel.
If you come to find out that you’re in a one-sided relationship, please know that it is not your fault. Apparently, your partner forgot to give you the memo on his emotional withdrawal from the relationship.
It happens far too often and I believe one reason is because people get more and more selfish and greedy by the day. I am grateful to have gone through a one-sided relationship because hopefully, one person reading this may be spared the pain and sorrow so many of us have endured.
One-sided relationships don’t ever work out because there’s only one person in the two-person relationship that is working at making it work. The other partner has not been emotionally involved in the relationship for some time or if ever while the other is putting forth time and energy into a purposeless relationship.
It’s not fair, and at the end of the day, one person is going to be hurt and in pain while the other moves on without remorse or feeling hurt.
It’s unfortunate that so many people in the world lack emotional maturity and awareness that they would rather lead someone on to believe one thing when they feel something totally different. This is one of those times where it really isn’t you, it’s your partner type of situation.
After writing this out, I’ve come to realize that I expend way more time and energy into relationships than the other and that is not okay.
Today, I am making the promise to myself to only give the time and energy that the other person is giving. I hope whoever is reading this is able to make that same promise to themselves or at least commit to trying.
No one deserves to be in a one-sided relationship and feel deceived after finding out what the relationship actually is. Just be aware of the signs listed above and try not to be in denial about it.
It’s hard to face the truth and reality of a situation that involves someone you deeply care about but at the end of the day, you will be better off without that person if all you are to them is temporary.
By Brittney Lindstrom for YourTango