You’re a grown woman, and you should know what you want from a guy and a relationship by now. You should also know how to date like a mature adult, since you are one and all. You may have to deal with a lot of BS searching for lasting love, but it’s up to you to rise to the occasion.
1. OFFER TO PAY YOUR OWN WAY SOMETIMES.
Look, I know a lot of us still think that guys should offer to pay on a date and that he should want to treat us, but it’s 2016 and a lot of men don’t think like this anymore (and we shouldn’t, either!). Why not flip the script and offer to pay for him? At the very least, be willing to go dutch.
2. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DATE, NOT YOUR PHONE.
If you’re on a date, unless it’s a crucial work thing or you’re showing him pictures of your dog, you shouldn’t be on your phone. It’s one thing to excuse yourself to the restroom and check your messages while you touch up your lip gloss, but texting in front of him and updating your Facebook status is just bad manners.
3. DITCH THE GAMES.
A benefit of being a real grown woman is not feeling the need to play ridiculous dating games anymore. If he texts you and you’re available to respond, do it and don’t question it. Grown ups don’t need to pretend like they’re too busy — we’ve all got stuff to do, but we also know it takes five seconds to text back. Don’t be a jerk.
4. DON’T SEND NUDES — LIKE, EVER.
Nothing that you share electronically is private — literally nothing. Unless you’re in a full-blown loving and committed relationship with a guy, send nudes at your own risk (and even then, use caution). If he wants to see you naked, he can come to your place and check it out in person. He doesn’t need it in photographic form.
5. TALK ABOUT STUFF THAT MATTERS.
We’re done with the, “OMG, did you hear about Kylie Jenner?” phase of dating conversation. Grown women talk about real issues because they pay attention and have opinions about the world around them. Plus, intelligence and knowledge about what’s happening in the world around you is pretty damn sexy.
6. SAY THANK YOU WHEN HE MAKES A NICE GESTURE.
As adults, we know that kindness is something that you need to reward with compliment and appreciation if you hope to keep receiving it. When a man holds the door open, pays the dinner check or gives you a sweet, genuine compliment, thank him. A little appreciation goes a long way. Plus, it’s just polite.
7. ASK HIM THOUGHTFUL QUESTIONS.
Don’t just ask him what kind of music he likes or what his favorite color is, ask him about his biggest life passion or what his favorite childhood memory is. You learn more about a person by asking more personal questions than you do by just learning surface facts.
8. DISMISS AND PUT CRAPPY BEHAVIOR IN CHECK.
Grown women don’t have time to date morons who treat them like crap — they dismiss them right away. If a man you’re into starts treating you unfairly or like crap, call it out ASAP. No one wants to end up in a relationship that they’re completely miserable in.
9. BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS.
If you’re looking for a relationship with the right person, say so. Don’t say things like “I’m just going with the flow” or “I’m not looking for anything serious” so as not to scare him off. This can completely backfire on you. Instead, be upfront about what you’re looking for. You’re an adult and you don’t need to lie about what you want.
By Andrea Wesley for Bolde