If you have this, you’ll have him.
Ah, commitment. What is about some people that they have no problem committing to one person, while others can’t seem to commit to anything?
If you’ve ever been involved with a commitment-phobe, you know how frustrating and demoralizing it can be. It feels as if you’re treading water and no matter what you do, you just can’t get them to commit.
While both men and women can be commitment-phobes, it does seem like men are more likely to be afraid of commitment than women. These men talk a good game about how much they cherish their independence and how they need their freedom like some people need to breathe.
There are definite signs that you’re involved with a person who’s scared of commitment, such as having a history of short-term relationships, changing jobs all the time, limiting the amount of time they spend with you, trying to justify their behavior, and refusing to plan ahead.
If you want a long-term relationship, it’s best if you find someone who wants that, rather than trying to change someone who doesn’t.
If you’ve been dating someone for a while and you’d like to take it to the next level, you can’t manipulate them into wanting the same thing. You need to find out if their feelings match your own.
While both you and your partner may agree that you’re going to get married or move in together, you may be on different schedules. Maybe they want to wait a while and you’re ready to book the church right now.
The first thing to do is to make sure you both are truly compatible and that you share the same interests, values, and goals. If they look good, consider if you two are a good match and that, ultimately, you’ll enrich each other’s lives.
The stars can help you to see if you have the characteristics he needs in a partner. Here’s the one trait that makes him commit to you, according to his zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21 – April 19): You’re spontaneous.
If you can show an Aries man that life with continue to be fun and exciting if you’re in a committed relationship together, he’ll be able to commit. If you’re spontaneous and can demonstrate how you’re not going to morph into a boring homebody just because you’re in a long-term relationship, he’ll want to spend his life with you.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): You’re stable.
A Taurus man needs someone who will always be by their side and who won’t ever break their trust. Show him that you’re in it for the long haul and that he can count on you to be his rock.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20): You’re complex.
Geminis are interested in so many things and people that they can get distracted and/or bored very easily. You need to show them that there are so many layers and hidden depths to your personality, that you’ll fascinate them for a lifetime. Show him that he will always be engrossed and surprised by all the different facets of your personality.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22): You’re protective.
Cancers can commit, they’re just very careful who they commit to. But if you show them that you’re a good person and that you’ll provide them security, they’ll know that if they take that long-term leap, you’ll be there to catch them. If they feel safe with you, they’ll be able to commit.
Leo (July 23 – August 22): You’re vibrant.
If you’re as passionate about life as Leo is, he’ll want to be with you forever, especially if you’re as out-going and socially gifted as he is. You compliment him well, and the two of you make a very dazzling couple because of how spectacular you both are.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): You’re responsible.
A Virgo man would never consider committing to someone who was financially irresponsible, so show him that your finances aren’t a house of cards. You pay your bills before the due date, you can account for every penny of your money, and you don’t owe anyone money. You’re a grown-ass woman who can handle the responsibilities of life.
Libra (September 23 – October 22): You’re easy-going.
Show your Libra man that you let the small stuff slide. You’re not going to make a huge deal out of every issue and cause a lot of friction and negativity in the relationship. Libra men hate needless conflict, and they want a partner who will help to make their home a comfortable retreat from the harsh world outside. They don’t want someone who will make their home life a war zone.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): You’re strong.
Scorpio men don’t want someone who is going to collapse the next time a problem or a disagreement arises. Show your Scorpio man that you’re always going to stick up for yourself and that you’re as brave as they are. They need someone who will balance them out and be a true partner.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): You’re level-headed.
Sagittarius men can sometimes have their head in the clouds, thinking of new ideas, philosophies, and places to go. You need to show them that you’re practical without being a buzzkill. You’re up for anything, but within reason. Sagittarius need someone who will ground them without clipping their wings.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): You’re conscientious.
Capricorn men are very hard-working, practical and dependable, so you need to show him that you’re all of that plus more. You’re careful, scrupulous, thorough, and vigilant. In fact, being conscientious is one of the very best traits anyone can have. If you prove to him that you’re the whole package and that a future with you is everything he needs, he’ll commit.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): You’re compassionate.
Aquarius men are wonderfully eccentric and appreciate the differences in people. They need someone who fights for humanitarian causes the way that they do, and if you show him that you not only have a big heart but that you’ll always be there to support and love him, this possibly commitment-phobic person will be able to commit to you — maybe not marriage, but definitely some kind of long-term relationship.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): You’re independent.
You have big dreams for your life and you don’t need anyone to make them come true, you’ll do it yourself. If a Pisces man sees that you’ll be a smart and interesting partner, who has plans for their own life, they’ll be able to commit to you.
By Christine Schoenwald for YourTango