It’s still possible for you to fall in love with a person that you’re having sex with and yet still not have the desire to be with that person.
1. The whole friends with benefits setup is a perfectly plausible system of social interaction. It’s not like how they always make it out to be in those romantic comedies or television shows. Just because you and a friend choose to sleep with each other occasionally doesn’t automatically mean that you are going to eventually develop romantic feelings for one another. Sometimes, sex is just what it is sex. And there’s nothing more to it than that if you don’t want it.
There’s no need to overreact with the whole friends with benefits situation at all. If the both of you are consensual about it and you are both honest with each other about how your relationship is going to be purely physical, then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Don’t let the media tell you how you should go about having a fun sex life as long as everything is consensual, no one should get to take that fun away from you.
2. As counter-intuitive as this may seem, it’s the truth, and you’re going to have to accept it. Sex isn’t always going to be sexy. There are times wherein sex can get very awkward and embarrassing for the parties involved and that’s okay. That’s perfectly normal. Sometimes, sex can also be filled with emotions like anger and sadness. It’s not always hot intimate romance. Sex is a very emotional act, and it is never really exclusive to just one emotion. As easy as the porn stars make it out to be, sex isn’t always going to be so intense and well-executed. It all boils down to the chemistry that you share with another person.
3. The emotional intensity that comes with sex may overpower you at times and that’s okay. You will sometimes get the urge to just cry. Your tears will come rolling out of your eyes and you won’t be able to explain it. That’s fine. That’s just how sex can affect people sometimes especially people who are incredibly in touch with their own feelings. Whether or not it’s going to weird out your partner is another story entirely.
4. There will be times wherein you have sex with a person who is going to leave a very negative impression on you and that’s normal. A lot of times, you won’t even be able to explain why your feelings towards this sexual experience are so negative. Just know that the only way to get rid of that negative weight that is bearing down on you is to sleep with another person.
5. You should probably stop expecting people to have totally different personalities whenever they shed their clothes off. A lot of times, a person who is naked is essentially the same person who has clothes on. You are only setting yourself up for disappointment if you keep expecting them to become aggressive in the sack even though they have passive personalities.
6. There are people who want to have sex with you more than you would even probably expect. It’s just that sometimes, these necessarily aren’t people who you want to have sex with. Or maybe they’re people who just aren’t so forward about their sexual desires. Maybe it’s worth it if you start taking a leap of faith and making the first move once in a while.
7. It’s okay if you eventually want to take a break from all of your sexual exploits. Of course, you would want to take a breather. You’re not some wild animal who just wants to hump its way through life all the time. But it’s also important for you to not stay away from the game for too long. You might risk losing some of your rhythm and it can mess up your game completely. You don’t want your confidence to wean one bit when it comes to sex.
8. Love doesn’t always have to be better than sex. Sure, a lot of people are all about living that life full of loyalty and commitment and dedication. But you’re not that type of person. And other people shouldn’t have to force you to adopt that kind of philosophy on life. You are the kind of person who finds meaning in the pleasures of the skin and no one should get to tell you otherwise. No one should be able to take that away from you. If you are a cynic when it comes to love and an addict when it comes to sex, it shouldn’t make you any less of a person.
9. It’s still possible for you to fall in love with a person that you’re having sex with and yet still not have the desire to be with that person. Because despite the fact that you love this person, you still value your freedom so much more. Remember that sex doesn’t automatically mean that you’re committing yourself to someone.