He might be serious, but not about you.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to think about the future. Whether that means marriage, children, or just moving in to some dope house together and partying out your days, it’s normal to wonder about what the future of your relationship might hold.
So of course you want to know what your partner is thinking about the future of the relationship, too.
In an ideal world, every person we want to be with wants to be with us too. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. If you’re worried that the person you’re dating doesn’t think your relationship has a future, there are some serious signs to look out for.
Here are just a few of the big ones:
1. He never makes concrete plans
If he doesn’t see a future with you, he won’t treat you like there’s a future. Period. That means your dates will spur of the moment, never planned, and that you’ll most likely always be the one who is doing the poking to see if he wants to get together. He keeps dates and times ambiguous with you because he is waiting for something he wants more to come along.
This might make him sound like a callous dick, and that’s not always the case. Sometimes this behavior can be unconscious. But that doesn’t mean you should put up with it.
2. He won’t introduce you to his family
You’ve been going out for three months and his parents live in the same city. Meeting his parents seems like a natural next step … to you. He, on the other hand, might not be actually keeping you from them, but it’s clearly not high on his list of priorities.
If a guy doesn’t see a future with you, then there is no reason to introduce you to his family. Why should he go through the awkwardness and the nerves of introducing someone to his family whom he has no real intention of going the distance with?
3. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend
In the pantheon of things guys who don’t see a future with you say, “I’m just not that into labels” is easily number one.
But here’s the cold, hard truth: It isn’t labels he has a problem with, it’s you.
That sounds harsh, but better you realize it now and get out before more hurt comes your way.
If a guy really likes you and really sees a future with you, he’s going to jump at the chance to call you his girlfriend. He’ll be proud to call you that. My boyfriend is basically always one step away from tapping strangers on the arm and being like “this is my girlfriend”. That’s what you deserve, don’t settle for less.
4. He only wants to hang if you have sex
Guys, even guys who aren’t serious about you, understand relationship math. If he wants to continue having sex with you (and who wouldn’t? You’re hot!) he’s got to keep going out on dates with you. If a guy isn’t serious about you, the idea of quickly grabbing dinner before you both go your separate ways for the night is absolutely out of the question.
If a guy sees a future with you, he’ll leap at any added time he gets with you, with or without the sex.
5. He won’t meet your friends
A guy who doesn’t see a future with you will do his best not to meet the people in your life. I was dating a man I was desperately in love with and he never ever ever met my roommate and best friend. For all my best friend knew, I made him up.
Guys who aren’t into you aren’t total monsters. They know on some level what they are doing is wrong. That’s why they avoid meeting people who care about you. They just can’t handle the guilt, much in the same way they can’t handle the love you’re offering up.
6. He doesn’t communicate
I’m not talking about him being emotionally closed off, though there’s a good chance he might be that too. I’m talking about returning calls or texts. It’s a no go.
He’ll hear your voicemail or read your text and it’s a crapshoot as to whether or not he’ll get back to you in 10 minutes, 10 hours, or 10 days.
He’s not trying to be a deliberate flake, you just aren’t high on his list. If you’re cool that, cool. But I for one think you happen to deserve someone who leaps up in the air when your phone number shows up on their screen.
7. He never talks about the future
You’re an open, mature person. You’ve been dating long enough that talking about the future seems like the next logical step. But you just can’t bring yourself to do it. Why? Because you know exactly where’s at. If you ask him about the future, you’ll discover that where he is concerned, there isn’t one.
I say ask him. Don’t hold back because you dread making him comfortable. Have the conversation. It’s normal and natural and don’t let him make you feel like it isn’t. Too many men ghost women rather than do the hard work of addressing their feelings. Don’t let him join their ranks. Better to hear it from him then be left wondering forever.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes original post on YourTango