It’s no secret that a vast majority of us all search for love. We yearn for it. We crave it. A lot of us would give anything we have just to be able to experience real love on a daily basis. That’s why plenty of us are willing to make compromises in our lives for the sake of love. We will have to make some sacrifices in order to accommodate love in our lives. We willingly partake in the hardships because we know that love is always worth it. But what happens when the love just isn’t worth it?
There are times wherein our desperation can get the best of us. We are all so desperate to be in a loving relationship with another person, we end up lying to ourselves about the sad state of our affairs. We think that being in a crappy relationship is a lot better than being single and so we will try to conjure up the lamest excuses in the world. We must always remember that the relationship is only worth keeping if love is still a driving factor in it. A person should never have to be coerced into a relationship out of fear of being alone again. It is much better to be alone and single than to feel lonely in a bad relationship.
You don’t need a relationship in order for you to be happy. Yes, love is important. But when you are in a relationship that is bad and toxic, then that’s not real love anymore. That’s just the illusion of a romantic relationship. You have to be able to gather the strength and courage to walk away when things just aren’t working out. You can’t afford to be that person who tries to justify being in a toxic relationship. If you persist on that path, you will only end up deeply broken and traumatized. It might even end up spoiling the whole idea of love for you.
So how do you know when you’re just lying to yourself in a relationship? It can be hard. The mind can be a tricky place to navigate. It can be confusing. Fortunately, you just have to keep your eyes peeled for a few telling signs. If you find yourself guilty with regards to the items that are listed on here, then chances are that you are lying to yourself. Open your eyes and don’t be blinded to the truth. Gather what’s left of your dignity and just call it quits. Move on to a better love; move on to a better romance, one that you don’t actually have to lie to yourself about.
1. You lose so much energy just trying to defend your partner.
You always find yourself justifying the relationship to your friends or family. You are always trying to find excuses for the bad aspects of the relationship. You are always trying to make excuses for your partner and it’s so tiring for you to keep carrying on this way.
2. You don’t listen to the comments and opinions of others.
You have just learned to tune other people out. You have been on the receiving end of so many unsolicited warnings and relationship advice from your friends that you aren’t having it anymore. You refuse to acknowledge that anything is wrong but maybe you’re just being a little too stubborn for your own good.
3. You are always overthinking; trying to convince yourself that you’re right.
Your mind is constantly at work. It’s restless. It just never seems to be at peace. Your relationship is always on your mind because you’re worried about it. You are always in constant arguments with your own self about what you should be doing to make things better.
4. You are pretending to be someone you’re not comfortable with being.
You should never feel like you have to change who you are for the sake of a relationship. You should never have to pretend to be someone else to save a relationship. If there is no room for your true and genuine self in a relationship, then why are you trying to force the issue?
5. You are way too emotional.
Emotions are tricky. They can cloud your judgment and they can impair your rational thought. They have the power to often blind you from the truth. Now in particular, you may be feeling a little afraid or uncertain about the realities of your relationship and so you just choose to turn a blind eye to them.
6. You are always feeling stressed and anxious in the relationship.
A relationship should never serve as a trigger for your stress or anxiety. Relationships aren’t easy, of course. But they shouldn’t have to be so stressful either. If you are working way too hard to make a relationship work, then maybe it’s a relationship that is just impossible to sustain.
7. Even you have a hard time believing yourself.
Listen to your gut. It’s trying to save you from heartache and disappointment. Stop being so stubborn. Just walk away and learn to live with that decision.
Orginal post on relrules