We wish we could believe everything that we hear, especially when it comes to guys. Wouldn’t life be way easier if we could trust them? Unfortunately, that’s just not how men operate. When it comes to guys our age, they will lie, twist our words, and leave out important little details as long as it helps them get what they want. They’re way more interested in casually hooking up than getting into actual serious relationships, and sometimes, we can’t help but wonder why we even bother!
We just have to accept it: guys are going to lie, and we’re sometimes going to fall for it, no matter how carefully we try to guard our hearts. But if we pay attention, we can figure out some of the most common lies and call their bluff when they try to use them on us. Here are 15 stupid lies we always fall for.
15. “You’re the only girl I talk to.”
When a guy feels the need to reassure you that you’re the only girl he talks to, you’re probably, well, not the only girl he talks to. Guys use this line all the time, and they literally do not care about hurting your feelings if they get caught using it. You know the drill: you’ll see him texting someone that you’re unfamiliar with, you’ll notice that it’s clearly a girl, and you’ll just quickly ask him who it is. Suddenly, he puts the phone away, smiles, kisses you, and says, “Babe, don’t worry. You’re the only girl I talk to.” Yeah, right! If you’re really the only girl he talks to, you’ll never have to wonder. You will always feel certain that he takes your connection seriously. If he’s lying to you about talking to other girls, just be warned that you two are probably headed for failure some time soon.
14. “She’s just a friend.”
Have you ever been hanging out with a guy a lot and feel like you’re really clicking? But you get a little nervous because you notice that he seems to be doing the same thing with another girl? Ouch. It’s a sticky situation to be in, but you just know that you have to get to the bottom of it and find out the truth. So you decide to bring up the topic one day, and ask “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been hanging out with Sarah a lot,” or maybe, “Look, you and Rachel seem to be really close. Is there something going on?” To which he naturally replies, “Oh, no, her? Oh, she’s totally just a friend.” Look, sometimes he means it, but most of the time, he doesn’t. He’ll happily cover up the nature of that “friendship” as long as it means he can keep stringing both of you along.
13. “I’m totally over my ex.”
Every single person has a few skeletons in their romantic closet. Maybe you have a few past relationships that you would rather just never talk about or even think about again, and maybe the guy you’re seeing has an ex or two that still tries to hit him up from time to time. You just need to make sure that even if his ex tries to contact him, he’s committed to you first and foremost. So if you notice that his ex seems to be poking around a lot and her name is constantly popping up on his phone, don’t be afraid to ask what’s really up with her. And if he insists that he’s totally over her, well, it doesn’t hurt to be a little suspicious. Some guys will try to keep an ex around as their side chick even when they start seeing someone new and better for them.
12. “I’m not hooking up with anyone else.”
People these days will have girls and guys on the side anytime they’re not officially dating someone. And even sometimes when they are. It’s a shame, but it’s reality! That’s the problem with our generation: we feel like we can have anything we want because so many options are available to us in every area of our lives, but this attitude makes it very hard to commit to anything real. Nowadays, guys will take pride in having multiple “side chicks”-can you imagine that kind of nonsense going on in our grandparents’ generation? Sure, guys will swear up and down that you’re the only girl that they’re hooking up with, but unless they’re actually dating you, you have a right to be suspicious. You just need to be careful these days with so many dating apps out there, they can be really sneaky. So don’t let your guard down around guys like that!
11. “I’m just going out with the guys.”
Now, this one isn’t always a lie. If you’ve already established a certain level of trust with a guy, you can probably believe him when he says that he’s just going out with some friends for a guys’ night. But let’s say that you’ve just started hanging out with a new guy. Things seem to be going well, and you’re really enjoying each other’s company. One night, you text him to make plans, but he says that he’s hanging out with his boys. Okay, fine, you think, until you notice his Snapchat story featuring a bunch of dancing girls! Guys might use the whole “guys’ night” thing as a cover up, especially early on if they’re not sure if they want to commit or not. Whenever he says he’s going out for a so-called guys’ night, don’t be afraid to check out his Snap story once or twice for the truth.
10. “It’s okay if you’re friends with your ex.”
There are very few guys out there who are truly okay with the idea of you being friends with your ex. They may say that they’re okay with it just to keep the peace, but deep down, the idea of it definitely makes them uncomfortable. When a guy says that he’s perfectly fine that you’re still friends with your ex, you should probably double check to see if he’s really being honest, because there’s a good chance that he’s not being completely truthful with you. And can you really blame him? Let’s be honest here, have you ever been super happy with the idea of your boyfriend being friends with his ex-girlfriend? It’s just a messy situation all around, and feelings can just get too complicated. It’s best to let the past stay in the past, where it belongs, and just let certain people go down their own, different paths.
9. “Of course we can stay friends.”
Now, this also works the other way around. As we said before, a new guy probably wouldn’t like the idea of you being friends with an ex-boyfriend. And on the other hand, when a guy that just broke up with you promises that you can still be friends, he’s probably just lying through his teeth to make you feel better. After a break up, it’s usually pretty rare to actually stay friends with an ex. Sure, every former couple talks about it, but it rarely ends up happening. There’s just too much history and baggage to make it work, and in most cases, that’s just not worth dealing with, so why even try? It’s just a pointless waste of time. So if an ex tries to promise you, “Yeah, sure, we can still be friends,” feel free to just walk away and forget about it, because they probably don’t mean it.
8. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Ah, the classic break up line. Sometimes, it feels nice to hear it, but other times, it just stings. Guys use the phrase “It’s not you, it’s me,” to try to make you feel better, but let’s be real, it’s usually a pointless line. Sure, a guy will say that he’s the problem and that there’s nothing wrong with you, but that will never stop you from feeling like it was still your fault. Guys will say this because they want to make themselves feel better. See, he thinks that if he takes full responsibility for everything that happened, you will walk away from the break up feeling less mad at him. But every girl on Earth knows that’s not how it works. If you hear a guy say this, you’ll still feel super angry at him when all is said and done. Guys, just tell the truth and stop making excuses.
7. “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
Another line that guys in high school and college are obsessed with. Look, if you were ever a teenage girl, you probably heard this one about a million times over! This is just another popular excuse that young guys use to shirk responsibility. It’s not that they aren’t “ready” for a relationship they know that they’re mature enough and could handle one. But they just choose not to. It’s an excuse they use to act like it’s okay that they always feel the need to hook up with multiple girls. They know that they could make an effort to improve their behavior, settle down, and make one girl happy, but they would rather mess around with a bunch of girls than stay with one. Some of them will really never learn their lesson, and they will continue to act like this even after their college years are long, long behind them.
6. “You’re too good for me.”
5. “I’m not on Tinder anymore.”
Guys these days are obsessed with Tinder. Gone are the days of bumping into a cute girl in a coffee shop or a bookstore, asking for her number, and then actually calling her to ask her out on a date the next day. Today, guys would rather flip through girls on a screen and swipe right if they’re cute enough. It’s the most romantic way to meet a girl, right? Imagine telling your grandkids one day when you met on Tinder. “Well, kids, it all started when your grandpa decided to download an app because he was bored and lonely at 3 A.M.” Come on, you don’t want to be that grandma. But guys are unashamed about using Tinder, and they won’t give it up easily, even if they are in a relationship. If a guy says he’s not using Tinder, do a little snooping and check on his phone for yourself.
4. “I’ll never leave you.”
Look, no one can promise this. Maybe you met someone that really is different from the rest, or so you think, and he tells you that he will never, ever leave you, your first instinct is to believe him. But if he tells you this, know that even if his intentions are good, he can’t know for sure if it’s true. Does he know what the future looks like? No. This isn’t That’s So Raven. Sure, a guy can promise you up and down that he will never leave you, no matter what happens, but he can’t really mean it because let’s face it, boys are not psychic. Unless this guy has genuine visions of the future, he can never know that you two will be together forever. It’s just impossible. Don’t try to find someone that promises you forever. Just find someone who makes you feel super happy today.
3. “Sure, I like your friends.”
Okay, this one can be true sometimes. Every once in a while, our boyfriend will fit into our friend group perfectly. He gets along with everyone, tells all the right jokes, and gets invited along everywhere that you go. Everyone loves him! That’s always a great feeling because it makes your life so much easier. You never have to lie and keep your friend groups apart. You can just include everyone in everything without worrying about it, and it’s less stress for you. That’s every girls dream. But unfortunately, this is not always the case. Many times, guys will dislike at least a few of the girls in your friend group, but they will try to keep it hidden. This is because they do not want to start some kind of fight with you. They just want to try to keep the peace and avoid getting into an argument with you about your friends.
2. “You can trust me.”
Ouch. We always want to believe this one, don’t we? We try so hard to place our trust in every guy we connect with, only to have it thrown back in our faces when they inevitably do something to break that trust. Now, there are genuinely a few guys out there who you can trust. You will definitely meet them one day. But especially when you’re younger, you will really struggle to find a guy that you can actually trust. Of course, every guy who wants to hook up with you will tell you that you can trust him. Sure, he’ll mess up, but he’ll always make it right. But the truth is that you cannot trust him at that age, he will probably be just as dishonest as every other guy out there. So just be careful, don’t plan on having a serious future, and just enjoy the moment for what it is.
1. “I love you.”
This is the worst! Okay, we’re not saying that your boyfriend is lying when he says “I love you.” Some guys are telling the truth when they say this! All we’re saying is that many guys who don’t mean it will tell you they love you just to get what they want and then turn around and leave when someone better comes along. They will use that “I love you” to earn your trust, and then when it’s no longer convenient for him, he will just walk away. This type of guy does not actually love you, and he does not mean a word that he says. He is just going to say anything that he can think of in order to get with you, but when the fun is over, then your relationship will be over. Be wary of a guy who says he loves you too fast it might not be true.
by JANE HARKNESS for TheTalko