I want to be in a relationship but the truth is it’s not the right time for me. Sometimes the universe gives you what you need, and for me right now, that’s alone time. I need to be on my own for a while for these reasons:
1. I NEED TO WORK
I want to get to a certain place in my life and I’m not there yet. I need to spend all my free time working and making the money required to save and plan for the next stage of my development. There’s really not any room for time spent on dates and guys and lying around lazy. I don’t have that luxury.
2. I NEED TO FOCUS
I have a hard time focusing on the rest of my life when I’m seeing a new guy. I get excited and preoccupied with all things to do with him. I try not to go there, but it happens every time. It’s clear to me that I have to be single now so that I can focus on making the rest of my life what I want it to be, with no manly distractions.
3. I NEED TO MAKE MY GOALS HAPPEN
I already know that I can put things off forever – I’ve had lots of practice doing so in the past. It’s much easier to focus on a relationship than on my own life, dreams, and ambitions. It’s sad but true. I have to be alone right now so that I force myself to get things done.
4. I NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I WANT TO LIVE
There’s no point in trying to meet a guy in this city when I already know I don’t want to stay here. I’m not sure where I want to go yet but I do know that I need to get out of this place. It would be pretty pointless to date a dude who’s already rooted and established here.
5. I NEED TO FOLLOW THE NATURAL SHIFT OF MY LIFE
There’s a lot that’s changing for me right now. It’s all good, but it can be challenging and scary. I have to really tune into my instincts so that I know where I’m going. I don’t need any extra noise—like a boyfriend—distracting me from my next logical move.
6. I NEED TO BE SELFISH FOR A WHILE
There’s nothing wrong with being selfish sometimes. It’s necessary to take care of myself and listen to my heart and body. I can’t do that if I’m worried about the needs of another person. If I’m with someone I tend to lose myself in taking care of them, so I have to be single to take care of me.
7. I NEED LOTS OF ADVENTURES
Sadly, I find that most guys aren’t as into adventuring as I am. I need someone who has flexibility, passion, and the desire to pick and go at a moment’s notice. Spontaneity is very important to me and a lot of guys don’t possess it—or they talk a good game but don’t actually do what they say!
8. I NEED TO STAY COMMITTED TO MYSELF
I’m already in a healthy, loving relationship—with me. I am perfectly okay with staying in this relationship because it’s the best one I’ve ever had! I am better to myself now than any man has ever been, so I finally understand what I deserve from a partner.
9. I NEED TO STOP LOSING MYSELF IN RELATIONSHIPS
Until I learn how to stay independent and happily autonomous when I’m with a guy, I have to be alone. I have a long pattern of losing myself and putting my partner’s needs before my own. I have to learn how to balance and build a healthy love.
10. I NEED TO STOP PICKING THE WRONG GUYS
I know what I want, but I’m bad at recognizing it. Maybe it’s because it takes me so long to find a guy I’m actually interested in—I get so hopeful that I turn a blind eye to his red flags. Like it or not, they still exist and it comes back to bite me in the butt later.
11. I NEED TO LET MYSELF ENJOY BEING ALONE
It always takes me a long time to get over a breakup, but once I do, I adore single life! There are a lot of advantages to being on my own and I enjoy every single one of them. I don’t want to rush back into dating and lose all this freedom and flexibility.
12. I NEED TO STOP DATING FOR THE WRONG REASONS
I know that if I were to start dating right now, I wouldn’t have the right motives. It would be because I feel lonely, because I want sex, or because I miss cuddling and massages and other couple-type things. I have to focus and remember what’s important to me right now.
13. I NEED TO STOP CARING THAT NO ONE ASKS ME OUT
The sad truth is that part of the reason I’m not dating is that no one tries to date me. It can get a little depressing sometimes, and I let it make me feel like I’m not worthy of love, which is entirely untrue! I want to get to a place where I’m good either way.
14. I NEED TO ADMIT THAT I’M TOO BUSY TO DATE
I want to date, but every time I try, I realize the truth – I have no time. I’m simply too dedicated to everything else going on in my life. Dating is a last priority, so of course it can’t be a successful one. There’s no point in wasting time on it when I don’t want to put any effort in.
15. I NEED TO FOCUS ON ALL THE PEOPLE I ALREADY LOVE
I am incredibly lucky—I have a ton of love in my life, with or without a boyfriend. I’m surrounded by people who value and care for me. That makes it tough to justify wasting my precious time on a man who barely knows me when I could spend time with my family and friends instead.
By Amy Horton for Bolde