It’s funny how blind we can be to the people we date and fall for. If we could look at our own love lives the way that we look at our friends’, it would be a whole different story. We can tell our BFF that their new guy was super rude to her or that she’s much better off after a break-up, but we can’t seem to judge the guys we date in the same way. We’re all super guilty of being hung-up on someone and months later realizing we can’t believe we were even into them the first place. Here are 10 signs you’re too good for him and he definitely doesn’t deserve you. Consider it your good sense checklist.
1. HE HAS ZERO MOTIVATION.
This is the biggest turn-off in the world, especially if you’re a career girl who works constantly. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t share your dreams, goals, and values? If he’s unemployed, if he still lives at home, if he refuses to look for a job, if he’s in school but doesn’t care if he ever graduates, stop cutting him slack. He’s probably not going to amount to anything, and you’re going to be stuck taking care of him financially and emotionally. Fun, right?
2. HE DOESN’T KEEP HIS WORD.Maybe he’s a liar or he’s cheated on you or he just doesn’t show up places that he’s supposed to be. If he truly respects you, he would never be an hour late when you’re meeting for dinner or just not show up when you’re throwing a party. You want and need someone who does exactly what they say they’re going to, period.
3. YOU MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIM 24/7.
You wouldn’t stay friends with someone who behaved super badly all the time – or if you would, you should probably rethink that. So why are you dating someone who does the same thing? Why not hold out for a guy who is exactly what he says he is? You should never have to explain away someone’s behavior
4. YOU FEEL TOTALLY HUMILIATED.
You told everyone you know that he is definitely The One and that you’ve finally found your soulmate… and then he said he just wants a hook-up. You got engaged or decided to move in together… and then he changed his mind. These are all pretty embarrassing. No one deserves to feel embarrassed by their boyfriend. It’s not junior high anymore, we’re all adults here (well, kind of, at least) and we don’t need to feel that awkward emotion.
5. YOU KNOW MORE THAN HIM.
We all have different interests, hobbies, levels of education, skills, talents, etc. If we were all the same, life would be so boring. But you should learn something from the person you’re seeing and grow from the experience of being in a relationship with them. If you’re always referencing stuff that he just doesn’t get, if he doesn’t seem to get your sense of humor, if he doesn’t have much to offer in terms of conversation – it’s probably time to say goodbye. You need to get something out of this deal other than just being able to call someone your boyfriend.
6. YOUR BFFS HATE HIM.
When you’re with someone, you’re bringing them into your world, and that means all the people you love have to deal with them, too. If they don’t like your new guy for whatever reason, you might want to stop and think carefully about why. Chances are, they’ve got a weird feeling for a reason, and since they just want the best for you, maybe you should listen. After all, if he was super amazing and perfect for you, they would be jumping for joy right you along with you. If they’re your true friends, they’re not going to make stuff up.
7. HE LAUGHS AT YOU.
There are genuinely funny guys who can make any moment a million times better. And then there are those jerks that we all know too well who turn everything into a joke and try to make you feel bad. I don’t care how hot or incredible you think this guy is, if he insults you or is always laughing at your expense, you don’t need him in your life.
8. HE ACTS BADLY ON THE FIRST DATE.
Twenty minutes into the evening, he feels the desperate need to go outside to smoke a cigarette… and then does the same thing an hour later (this may have happened to me recently). Guess what? If you act like you have zero interest in sitting across from us and chatting, or don’t want to ask us any questions, then we’re definitely not into a second date. Pay attention to how someone acts on date #1 because it’s definitely going to just keep getting worse if you keep seeing them.
9. HE BELIEVES HIS OPINION IS THE ONLY ONE THAT COUNTS.
Ugh. Double ugh. Triple ugh (okay, I’ll stop now). This is really the worst, because an opinion is just that – an opinion. It’s not fact, it’s just how you feel and how you think. We’re all different and we don’t all love the same stuff. One exception: a guy who told me that he found Serial boring. That’s the wrong opinion to have.
10. HE DOESN’T GET HOW LUCKY HE IS.
The sucky reality of modern dating aside, there should still be some old-school romance. A guy should make you feel like he totally knows how great it is that you’re together (and you should feel the same way about him, of course). If he takes you for granted or doesn’t realize how special you are, why are you even with him?