I’m no expert in love. But what I do know is that you have to fight hard for it.
You have to learn how to make sacrifices without allowing it turn into resentment. You have to learn how to ride the undercurrents of uncertainty without drowning in it. You have to support each other’s dreams and accept they might clash or arrive at separate times. You have to overcome stubbornness and admit when you’re sorry in order to really move forward.
You have to be there for each other when the bank account is zero or one of you want to quit their job. You have to realize that underneath all of the anger and arguing, there’s a need not being met and you have to face it with grace. You have to get better at talking about touchy topics and the things that scare you to the core. You have to open up and give truth in order to receive it back. You have to keep talking it out until it gets better, even if it feels like a feedback loop.
You have to appreciate what you both bring to the table without comparison. You have to loosen up over the irritable parts of each other and laugh because you’re only human. You have to get better at letting go of past pain and transgressions and forgive. You have to stick by each other when things are confusing and all-encompassing, trusting that one day you will both understand why. You have to be there for them, even if it’s in silence and even when they’re most angry at you. You have to learn how to give them space without thinking of the worst. You have to admit when you need space without the fear of letting them down.
You have to remember the little joys and gifts still matter years later. You have to be creative and willing to change things up, including your sex life. You have to be patient when other parts of life take over temporarily, knowing it doesn’t mean they love you any less. You have to have the courage to let them see the lovely parts of you as well as the deranged, knowing they chose you regardless. You have to find romance in the mundane just as much as the flowers and dinner dates if you want to be truly happy.
But all of this I would do, because loving you is worth the fight.