To My Cheating Ex, I Wish Your Actions Didn’t Still Hurt Me

It’s always just there…

And even though I have moved on the hurt that you made me feel still causes dreams I wish I could forget.

Every new person who comes into my life I question, sometimes I even get a little overbearing because I never want to feel that pain again. The pain of feeling my heart being ripped from my chest by the person I loved more than myself…

You cheating on me has caused me to deal with things I never thought I would. Especially, after finding out I was with someone who took advantage of me.

You have caused me to question every boy I have a serious relationship with because you have made me so insecure, and I really hate saying that. I hate knowing you’ve impacted me that much… And knowing you still have that control over my heart is the worst thing in the world.

I know I’m a strong woman and I know I deserved better than you, but I loved you.

It just really hurts knowing that you tearing my heart into pieces was so easy and it might always affect my future relationships.

I don’t want to blame the man of my dreams for the heartache you have given me, but I have come to terms with it.

I have learned how to deal with things that trigger me and the bad dreams that come with being cheated on by someone you thought was your whole world.

I have come to terms knowing that if it ever happens again I walk away immediately. No matter how much I love them.

I have come to terms with knowing someone can do one selfish act and damage a person forever. I don’t know what went through your head when you decided to cheat.

Maybe you were bored, maybe you wanted a reason out but doing what you did broke my heart more than you could have ever imagined.

You made me feel worthless. But the worst thing you made happen was the insecurity I will always have towards a man I love because of the heartbreak you put me through.

I guess you can say I’m a little bitter because I would have never done that to you, but at the same time, I’m glad I had a reason to get over you.

You helped me come to terms with that fact that I deserve someone who would never walk out on me, never leave me questioning, and never want to hurt me the way you did.

You have made me a stronger woman and I appreciate that. But I do know breaking girls hearts by cheating on them will catch up to you.

And I sure as hell hope it doesn’t come in the form of your dream girl breaking your heart the way you broke mine. But… I may hope this happens just a little.

By Nicole Clements for MeAgainstMyself

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