Don’t waste your energy.
You are going to have to get comfortable with the fact that you’re not going to get everything and everyone that you want in life. You will want to achieve so many things in life that are just a little too out of your reach. You are going to want to go after so many dreams that are just downright impossible to reach. You are going to fall in love with someone who you’re just not meant to be with; and that might be the most unfortunate of them all. You were always taught that if you worked hard enough, you could do anything you set your mind to.
But how do you work hard at making another person fall in love with you? You can’t necessarily force another person to fall in love with you, right? That’s impossible, right? You can’t force another person to feel a certain way about you. You can’t compel another person to just fall head over heels for you. You can’t somehow conjure up butterflies to flutter inside a person’s stomach whenever you’re around. Love isn’t ever that simple. Love wasn’t designed to be so easy. Love is never meant to be something that you can just manipulate or bring about out of thin air. And that’s probably where a lot of heartbreak stems from. A lot of people will delude themselves into thinking that they can actually control how love works in their lives.
They set unreasonable expectations for love and for themselves and they end up being severely disappointed as an outcome. When the real weight of love just bogs them down, they feel entirely helpless to the situation. They realize that they don’t have that power to will a person to love them after all. They will realize that sometimes, love isn’t built for everyone no matter how much they want it to be.
And you are probably going to go through that experience too. Maybe it’s a rite of passage for a lot of people. To experience falling in love with a person you just can’t have is both a devastating and a liberating experience. It’s devastating because you realize your own limits as a human being. You understand that you can’t force love even though you really want it to happen. But it’s also liberating in the sense that you have to really learn how to detach yourself from situations that aren’t meant for you. You realize that love is always going to be a struggle, but at least you get to choose how you’re going to cope with this struggle.
Sometimes, a person is never going to grow to love you in the same way that you love them, and that’s okay. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about that. You also have to understand that there will be some people who will fall in love with you even though you could never find it in yourself to fall in love with them. It’s just the way of the world. You own and control the things that you can control. Nothing more, nothing less. You don’t have to feel bad about wanting to fight for a person even though you know you’re probably going to lose. A lot of people will try to bet big on bad cards just out of desperation. But you always have to know when to cut your losses and just walk away.
It may comfort you to know that this doesn’t necessarily mean that you are completely hopeless. It may feel like it at the moment, but it’s not the entire truth. Sure, it seems totally helpless that you’re in love with a person who could never love you back. But eventually, if you wait long enough, if you practice patience, you are going to fall in love with someone so easily, you are going to forget all the helplessness that you’re feeling now. So you just have to be patient. You have to remember that love takes a lot of work and effort, but it’s not impossible. Real love is always attainable and it’s definitely worth fighting for.
So you don’t have to keep on wasting your time drooling over this one person you know you can never have. You have to learn how to detach yourself from this person. You have to be able to move on and open yourself up to the prospects of falling in love with other people. It’s only when you understand that love isn’t always going to go the way that you want it to go that you can truly decide to be happy. You just have to be willing to let go and allow for love to walk into your life when it’s ready. You can’t force love to manifest itself in a place of hopelessness. It always comes at the right time and the right place.