Remember that loving your girl wholeheartedly and valuing her freedom aren’t necessarily two mutually exclusive things.
You know how people always say, “If you truly loved her, you should learn to let her go.”? Let’s see. How about you don’t let her go? This may be an unpopular opinion that I share with only a few, but I don’t ever want to let the girl that love the most go. I don’t want to release whatever hold I have on her. I love her and this is a conscious choice that I make every day that I’m alive. It’s not as if I’m virtually incapable of surviving without her. I could. It’s just that I choose not to. I choose to be with her; to have her here beside me.
Other people will tell me that I’m being selfish; that I’m not thinking of her needs. They’re wrong. Who are they to tell her what she needs? Her needs shouldn’t have to depend on whether or not I want to be with her. I shouldn’t get a choice in the matter. I shouldn’t get to decide whether or not she’s free. She is always free to do whatever she wants regardless of how I feel about her. So if I’m going to put in the effort in actually keeping her in my life, it shouldn’t automatically mean that I am withholding her freedom. In fact, her empowerment doesn’t rest on whether or not I let go. Her empowerment is entirely her own and that is the true essence of what it means to be free. She can choose to entertain me or not. And I respect that.
She doesn’t need my permission to be free. I don’t have to “let her go” for her to live her life. She can do that however and whenever she wants. I don’t have release my hold on her just so she can be herself. In fact, the reason that I want to be with her is because she is so good at being herself. That’s the reason why I don’t want to let her go; because a woman like her is rare. She is that “one in a million” type of lady and I really don’t want to lose her. You wouldn’t want to lose a winning lottery ticket if you had it within your reach, would you? You wouldn’t care if people called you selfish or inhibiting. Only you know the truth. Only you know what it’s like to be you and to be in this relationship that you’re supposedly going to have to let go of. No one should get to judge you for the choices that you make regarding this matter.
There should be a new saying, “If you truly loved her, you should fight like hell to keep her around.” Now that is the kind of saying that I could get behind. That is the kind of romantic philosophy that I’m always going to carry with me. I’m a traditionalist in the sense that I always believe that love is never going to be easy. I know that you are always going to have to put in lots of time and effort into making sure that a love is going to work out. You are always going to have to invest a lot of yourself into whatever relationship that you’re in and you have to hope for the best. You can’t just “let someone go” whenever things get difficult or when the differences between you start to surface. No. When the challenges start to present themselves in the relationship, then that means you have to fight even harder to keep yourselves afloat. You have to do whatever it takes to make sure that you don’t break. You have to be able to adapt as a couple and as individuals if you want to survive in this cruel and unforgiving world.
If you are truly in love with a person, then your life is totally consumed by that person. You would never want to go a day in your life without having that person by your side. Sure, you don’t always get along. Of course, you have a few issues here and there. But ultimately, the choice to stay still belongs to the both of you. You still get to decide whether or not you get to move on as a team or as individuals who used to be together. So if you are still in love with each other, then you should be fighting really hard to make that love work. If you truly loved her, you would do whatever you could to make channel that love into something productive; into something that is worth staying for.
Remember that loving your girl wholeheartedly and valuing her freedom aren’t necessarily two mutually exclusive things. You can still choose to be adamant about your love for her while also respecting her individuality as a person.