It’s Okay To Miss Them And Not Want Them Back

It’s okay to think of them when you hear a song on the radio. It’s okay that you look for them in certain places when you go somewhere that used to be your spot. It’s okay to look back at your instagram to a time when they were in the pictures. As well as a main character in your life.

It’s okay to want to text them like you used to. It’s okay to post something hoping maybe they see. It’s okay to dwell in the past sometimes of someone you thought would be in your future. It’s okay to miss the good parts, even though there was some bad.

It’s even okay to break down sometimes. It’s okay that you still feel something when you hear their name. It’s even okay you still think of them sometimes when you’re with someone else.

It’s okay to even compare them sometimes. Because we all do that. It doesn’t mean your feeling for the person now mean anything less. It doesn’t mean you aren’t over it because we all have our moments when we aren’t sometimes. But healing is a process. And it can happen at the same time you’re falling for someone new.

I think when you miss someone it just proves that they did matter at one time or another. But missing someone does not mean you want them back.

It doesn’t mean you have to text them or like their insta or look at their story.It doesn’t mean you have to catch up just because it’s been a while and you’re curious. It doesn’t mean you have to avoid them when you see them out because it hurts. It doesn’t mean you have to lie when your boyfriend asks who he is.

Be honest with yourself about how you do feel. Feel through the parts of missing them. Even if it’s uncomfortable.

It’s okay to miss someone and keep moving on with your life. Missing someone is just a part of the healing process. And sometimes it never goes away entirely. But it isn’t your job to feel guilty about feelings you can’t control. What is in your control is how you let it affect you and every relationship.

If you let this the standard no one else can compete with, everyone who tries will fall short. Because you’re building them up to a place they don’t even deserve to be. If you let this haunt you, your past will be something you look back at negatively and you won’t heal.

You can miss someone without completely self destructing while doing so. Because it’s okay to miss someone but still not want them back.

Remember that if someone left whether they had good reasons to or not there was purpose for it. Maybe they were only meant to be characters in passing. Maybe they were meant to teach you something. Maybe they were there to teach you about love that comes and goes. The truth is when someone touches your heart that deeply and you miss them, they are never truly gone because you carry them with you and that’s okay.

By Kirsten Corley for ThoughtCatalog

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