I’ll Let A Guy Boss Me Around During Sex But He’d Better Not Tell Me How To Live My Life

I love being dominated in the bedroom but my guy shouldn’t make the mistake of believing the same applies outside of it. If guys want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets then I want a boss in bed who lets me use my own head in real life.

I WANT A PARTNER IN CRIME, NOT ANOTHER DAD. 

Dude, I’ve got a father—and he’s a very good father at that. The whole point of 21st century dating is that you find a guy to be your equal partner. If I get the sense that a guy is trying to act all superior to me and wants me to obey his every whim, I’ll tell him to GTFO. I do what I want, when I want.

I’VE SURVIVED THIS LONG ON MY OWN—I DON’T NEED HELP. 

I’ve been in a relationship with myself for 27 years, so that’s the relationship I’m the most bothered about. If a guy just comes onto the scene and expects me to live my life according to his ideals, why should I? I’ve managed to do things my own way for 27 years and I think I’ve turned out pretty well, so what makes him think that I need his constant involvement and direction? Oh, that’s right—I don’t.

I’M MORE THAN CAPABLE OF MAKING MY OWN DECISIONS.

I appreciate his interest in my life and what I’m doing, but I’m more than capable of dealing with my own crap. I am, and have always been, fiercely independent. Whether there’s a guy in my life or not, I can handle myself. Opinions are fine, but he better not seriously try to tell me what to do. If he does, he ain’t going to last.

CONCERN IS A GOOD THING… UNTIL IT BECOMES OVERBEARING.

I appreciate it if a guy wants to make my life easier and cares enough to worry about me, but not to the extent that it becomes overbearing. I’m grateful for the appropriate amount of concern, but any more than that and he’s treading a fine line.

I’LL ONLY GIVE UP COMPLETE CONTROL IN THE BEDROOM.

Like I mentioned earlier, he can control me as much as he likes in the bedroom. Being thrown around and told what to do during sex? I love that stuff. But when it comes to real life, I have my own mind—and a very strong mind at that. Those girls who let their guys tell them what to wear or which lipstick to put on? That ain’t me—and that’s NEVER going to be me. It’s best that he knows that right from the very start.

I DON’T NEED A KEEPER.

Sure, there’s a level of respect that you should have and show for somebody you’re dating, and I would never disrespect a guy I was seeing, but I don’t need him telling me what time I need to get home from the bar so that he can come around, for example. At 27, I should be able to do what I want, when I want, right?

IF I WANT HELP, I’LL ASK FOR IT. 

The dude can offer to help me—that’s lovely and appreciated—but it doesn’t mean that I have to take him up on his offer every time, does it? If I truly want and need his help, I’ll ask for it. Simple.

WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? 

For me, it comes across as arrogant if a new guy comes into my life and tries to adjust how I do things. In fact, it’s borderline rude to imply that I need bossing around. Sure, he can disagree with how I run my own life, but he shouldn’t be trying to change me in any way, shape, or form.

HIS NEED TO CONTROL THINGS LIKELY STEMS FROM HIS OWN INSECURITIES.

I’m well-aware that guys who try to control the ladies in their life are likely to have their own issues and insecurities. In fact, they probably do this because they’re unhappy and can’t control their own life, for whatever reasons. I sympathize with anybody who’s unhappy, but a controlling guy is just not for me.

I’M THE BOSS OF MY OWN LIFE.

And that’s the way it’s going to stay.

By Katie Davies for Bolde

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