I’m looking for a real connection so I won’t sugar coat things just to avoid scaring you away. No matter how much I like you and how well things are going, I won’t be getting into your bed easily — I’ve made my mistakes and I refuse to go down that road again.
1. I’M LOOKING FOR MORE THAN JUST SEX.
I want a solid connection that we can build into an actual future. I’ve had one too many short-term “relationships” where I’ve shared something so intimate with someone who doesn’t stick around. If you’re not willing to get to know me for the long haul, there’s no point in taking things further.
2. GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER ONLY INCREASES OUR CHEMISTRY.
When we take things slower and really get to know each other on a deeper level, it’s either going to break us or make us even stronger. I want the kind of sex that feels amazing not just because our chemistry is strong, but because we’ve also built that emotional connection and we’re crazy about each other. There’s no better feeling.
3. I WANT IT TO MEAN SOMETHING.
I’ve made mistakes in the past and I hate the feeling of waking up next to someone I’ve slept with and being completely unsure of where things are headed. I shouldn’t have to spend the next day or week wondering when I’ll hear from you or what you’re thinking. I want the kind of sex and intimacy where we’ve built the foundation, we know where we stand with each other and nothing changes afterwards. I want genuine feelings to exist between us first.
4. I DESERVE TO BE THE ONLY ONE.
I’m not going to apologize for expecting you not to date other people if you’re sleeping with me. I shouldn’t have to worry that you’re going to spend the very next night swiping faces on Tinder or talking to other women and taking them on dates. If I’m taking that step with you, I want to be the only woman in your life or nothing at all.
5. I ENJOY SEX MORE WHEN THERE’S GENUINE FEELING INVOLVED.
To me, sex is infinitely better with someone I genuinely care about and if that connection’s not there, I don’t want the intimacy either. If we care about each other and we have amazing sexual chemistry too, isn’t that better than adding just another random notch on your list?
6. I REFUSE TO BE PLAYED FOR A FOOL AGAIN.
I’ve let guys in my past fool me into thinking that our connection was deep and long-lasting, but I know better now and I have higher expectations before I’ll let things progress to that level. If you want to have sex with me, I need real proof that you’re into me and only me — otherwise, we’re both just wasting our time.
7. LOYALTY IS A MUST-HAVE IN MY LIFE.
What ever happened to genuine loyalty? I’m loyal AF when it comes to guys that I date and I expect the same treatment in return if things are headed in a sexual direction. Like I said, I’m looking for a real relationship. If I’m offering you my loyalty, you should be offering me the same. It’s called respect.
8. YOU CAN’T HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
I’m not the type of woman you can have your cake with and eat it too — I don’t roll like that. You might think it’s selfish of me to hold out on you until you offer me something real, but I think it would be selfish for you to think that I wouldn’t. I know what I have to offer is worth it, so I’m careful about who to offer it to. You need to earn me in a real and honest way.
9. IF WE’RE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE, WE NEED TO CLOSE THE BOOK ON THIS.
If you’re not down with waiting or getting to know who I am first, I’m not down to stick around and waste my energy on a situation that’s going nowhere. I might be really into you and we might be a great match, but I shouldn’t need to prove my interest by having sex with you without knowing where we stand. Put it this way: if I’m not the only player on your field, I refuse to play in your game at all.
10. I’M WORTH THE INVESTMENT.
Believe me when I say that what I have to offer emotionally, intellectually and physically is definitely worth investing in. I’m done with almost relationships and strong sexual connections that lead nowhere. I’m at the point where I’m ready and I’m looking for something more. If you want to have sex with me, I need to know I’m the only woman in your life.