How To Trust After Heartbreak

Merriam Webster’s dictionary describes trust as a firm belief in the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something and a person or thing in which confidence is placed. One of the valuable things we could ever hand to someone is our trust in them. We trust our family that they always want the best for us even if we disagree, we trust our friends to keep our secrets when we confide in them and we trust the person we love as we hand our whole heart in their hands to never break it. What happens when this trust is broken? What happens when our heart is crushed into a million pieces and we watch the little pieces of our heart fall from the palm of their hands? Tears fall from our eyes like there’s no tomorrow, in shock, we cradle and question ourselves. Were we ever unfair and cruel to deserve this? What could we have done better to prevent it? What was wrong with me? They betrayed your trust and your world forever changed. Do you forgive and try again? Do you walk away? Whatever choice you make next, you feel lost and your heart is inevitably broken, how do you cope?

First, you must remember one of the truths out there in the world – Change is one of the hardest things in life but is always good; there is always purpose as to why it happens. I know it is oh so very painful right now. You wish the good moments would stop flooding your thoughts and reminding you what you had lost, what no longer is. You wish the pain of going or doing something you both used to do but now alone won’t bring on a heavyweight in your heart. You feel completely helpless, numb, hurt, and want to be better but it can’t happen just like that in the blink of an eye. Darling, it will take time, you have to be patient.

I know because you loved, you were all in, and you were happy, of course, you’re mourning that loss. You, however, need to try to redirect that energy into healing and moving on instead. Remember your trust that was betrayed and your heart that was crushed with no second thought or consideration. Moving on from something that was both so good and so bad will tear you apart. You remember the good things but forget the bad things. You must look at the whole picture and not just a corner.

You need to relearn how to trust again starting with yourself. Do not blame yourself for what had happened. The choice he made is a reflection of his character and not of you. You were never short of love and you have always been enough. Trusting and loving yourself again is a process that will take one step at a time. Every day, try your best to find one thing, even just one thing to be completely grateful for and happy about. Just one thing, and sometimes you might revert to being sad and it may be a hard day, that’s okay. Take the time to heal, to grow and to shine brighter than you ever did when you were together. Feel happy for yourself first again. To trust yourself again is to be brave. Be brave. Never carry any guilt, regrets or anger. Just an appreciation for this beautiful time in your life and the life experience and lesson it gave you.

You need to trust the universe again too. Know and trust, that there is someone better. Know that if this was meant to be, it wouldn’t have ended. But it did, so that means there’s someone else. There are so many people who have had their heart broken harder before they found their true lasting love. Take comfort in this. Trust in the beauty and love you have in yourself. When you shine, someone will inevitably see you and treasure you. They won’t let you go and betray the trust that you so freely given because of love.

When you’re sad about what you lost and how happy and good you both were together, always think that you deserve more and there is a better and more perfect fit for you. There is more and there is more to life. What has been done and said are all in the past, there’s nothing more that can be done. Clear your thoughts and close your eyes then envision your beautiful future instead. Consistently fill your every day with love, care, and positivity. Accept and trust love again as it comes your way no matter the form. You deserve a love that gives you the happiest of days and pushes you towards your dreams. One where you don’t need to doubt the love from the other person ever. And one that would be extremely excited alongside you for every milestone; they would never look anywhere else but straight into your eyes and your heart.

So now, as you both stand on the opposite sides of the platform, and both your trains come in, take one final glance at this person who used to mean the world to you. Look at them in the eye and say your final goodbye. Thank them for the beautiful love story and happiness you once shared together and how you were glad you had the opportunity to be theirs. Then get on that train and move on to another chapter that will lead you closer to your happily ever after.

By Erin Gaw for ThoughtCatalog

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