To Every Girl Who Has Ever Lost Herself To A Narcissistic Man

Love is a very strange thing. It can make you anew, after the greatest of tribulations life throws at you; it can rejuvenate you and invigorate you and inspire you to be better each day.

But sadly enough, it can also break you, destroy your sense of self and justice. Because more than often bad things happen to good people, especially in love.

Have you ever been in love and thought “this is it, this has to be it.”

Of course you have. We all have that one love in our life.

But like most good things in the world, it doesn’t last. And let us tell you right now, it wasn’t your fault, at all.

This was because the man you fell for was a narcissist and life after him has not been the same. You don’t understand the concept of love anymore; nor have you been whole again.

Being happy is out of the question.

Yes, you have been naïve, but recognising a narcissist is nigh impossible at least while there’s time. Their charm which lures you in is part of the whole Faustian deal.

The affair has left you dry; you don’t understand feelings anymore.

To be totally honest, you are now the exact opposite of what you were, before he came along.

You were one of those cheerful, happy people who lit up others’ lives as well. You were positive, motivated and most importantly hopeful, for yourself and others.

You would smile before going to bed, thinking of all the people you cheered up throughout the day and you would wake up with a smile on your face, thinking of the difference you will make to so many others’ lives that day.

But now you are an empty shell of the person you used to be.

This is because that simply is the effect narcissists have on a person. They feed off people’s mental well-being, slowly and silently siphoning off positive energy off of them to leave them hollow.

Now it is even difficult to get out of bed and do the most basic of chores. In short, getting a hold on your life.

You have allowed said individuals to get the better of you and now you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror.

The trust you had in him shattered and now you can’t trust anyone anymore.

This would be hundred times worse for you because romantic attachment and its subsequent shattering are things that are difficult to wrap your head around.

Moreover, once you feel like someone is quite literally everything to you, it is very, very difficult to come to terms with them leaving, especially after having made so many promises and memories.

Quite simply it leaves a void in you.

You don’t feel safe again.

You feel like people and their words and promises have ceased to mean anything. You feel like you drifting in a sea with a storm brewing; there’s no land in sight.

This is because you did love him and love is a strange thing.

You were with him, heart, body and soul; the kind of holistic connections one might just read about. Every moment spent with him was like an eternity and a day.

But that was exactly what he wanted: for you to let your guard down.

That’s what enabled him to take what he wanted and leave.

You loved him unconditionally, thinking of him as your soulmate and you did drift away in him.

But for a narcissist, love is really nothing because they can’t have such feelings for anyone but themselves.

Consequently, now you cannot feel good about yourself no matter what you achieve in life.

It is not your fault.

Losing oneself to a narcissist is not just common, it is also very probable.

The effect they have on the people who love them is debilitating and demeaning.

And you shouldn’t blame yourself for it.

Think of it as this: bad things happen and it is part of the universe’s working. You have to find the strength in yourself and your will to look past that and enjoy the goodness in both yourself and the people that love you.

It is never too late.

It is never too late and the tunnel does stop at some point.

If you let yourself down and don’t look past it, it would mean that he won and you lost.

You have to pick yourself up, dust yourself of all that negativity and self0blame and start anew.

Most importantly you have to believe in love again, and you will have to love again; but yes now that you know the type, you will be wary.

He never deserved the effort; you did.

It’s only fair that you use all your strength to build yourself up.

Be the person you once were.

Cheers.

By Mykh Goldstein for TheMindsJournal

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